#i got drawing energy back so ive been working on getting the art done for the monochrome reply and i brain blasted a little abt him. yaaauy

[creatively-cosmic]

see doing these rp chains with other blogs and putting guys in new situations and shit is fun bc it makes you figure out. Even More Context for why a dude is Like That and its like ooohhghghghrjnkdjd. yes. YES

[kellystar321]

.

[lucabyte]

ppl saying they look to my comics for inspiration and pointers on how to format things is WILDDDD to me (and delightful don't get me wrong!! i am overjoyed) because like. none of you are privvy to the absolute WAHHH I DONT WANNNAAA bitchfits i was *CONSISTANTLY* throwing every time i forced myself to make a comic before i got into isat. like no joke. i considered comics such a fucking difficult medium they always drained my drawing energy so hard because they always felt like they took sooo long and had so many moving parts and were so much harder than storyboards (WHICH I ALREADY STRUGGLED WITH) because you had to account for panel shape and speech bubbles and-- like you get it. but genuinely for real. the sheer amount that i complained whenever i clawed my way through drawing a comic (which thus! was not very fucking much!!) compounded by the fact that i *genuinely have trouble reading comics*. as in, i really struggle to parse the flow of contiguous movement or action between panels (possibly connected to the fact ive got mad aphantasia?) of even really well done best-of-the-best professional comics...

... BUT. basically. what im trying to get at is. if you wanna learn to draw comics, evidently you super can?! I genuinely *didnt* draw comics before drawing isat fanart! I have no idea what it was about ISAT fanart that made it finally click for me? (I think it was... not having to think about colour? Removing a step from the process really helped. Plus, it being fanwork meant I could just start en-medias-res and not have to think about setup... Trying to cram too much explanation and setup into my oc stuff was always a big hurdle too...)

I find them fast to do now! and damn if i dont value speed in art (<- impatient little fucker). its still going slowly on my oc comics.. mostly due to the colour again, i think. but it's not extremely, ecruciatingly difficult anymore. is what im saying. and im genuinely baffled by it every time i put pen to page. its fucked up. did you guys know that practice makes things easier? . fucking perverted if you ask me.

As for looking at other people's things for inspiration. if you want to know where I was looking when I was piecing together the first couple fancomics I did for ISAT i want to specifically point at . well besides everything rebecca sugar has ever done (for hands and facial expressions *especially*), the main person i really dug into the work of was Leo Fox (Website link). I feel like i wanna point people to the source of a lot of the inspiration for my more off-kilter panel choices so you all can get the full experience rather than through my regurgitated mimesis. I'm now at the point where i can wing panel layout so i wasn't in there for longgg but. everyone go add it to your knowledge banks as for SUBJECT MATTER aka why i am i so deranged. those are squarely the 2019 postcanon homestuck golden era bleeding through my CLENCHED BITTEN DOWN JAW. A BULL TERRIER ON YOUR BRACHIAL ARTERY. namely that @/floralmarsupial and @/tomatograter's works (no i am not tagging them . im shy) are things i go back to frequently and floralmarsupials pure black/white inktober comics were *especially* an inspiration. if you've been following me a few months you may remember me reblogging a bunch of their stuff from 2019~2021 for seemingly no reason. this was why. The narratively divorced reality of jade strider & Liminal Space are big in my mind here. I balk to call myself anywhere near as good as these but these are what i'm aiming for, tonally and quality-ways with it. also detective pony but ive mentioned that already and thats farrrr too inside baseball for this post.

BUT YEAH TL;DR: I DIDNT DRAW LIKE ANY COMICS UNTIL UHHHH LIKE, WHAT, LIKE 8 MONTHS AGO? JESUS. ANYWAY. THIS MEANS YOU 🫵🫵🫵 CAN DO IT TOO. BELIEVE IN YOURSELF. DATTEBAYO!!!!

[emmabebe0906]

COME BACK I MISS UU😭😭 you shaped my childhood i found your works when i was 12 IM 17 NOW i miss slyth i miss YOUR OCSSS WE MISS YOUUU

:(

im sorry to disappoint you, i cant draw as much as i used to. my body has severely deteriorated compared to when i was able to draw every day, back in... um.. when was it.. it feels like its been so long i dont really remember when it started. im gonna guess around 2020/2021 maybe?? i feel like it was before that but im not sure.

either way, i miss the days when i was younger too. youre not alone in that.

i have a lot of mental and physical problems i've been working very hard to fix, and ive been slowly but surely trying to get healthier. ive been to a lot of doctors and specialists and i even stayed at an eating disorder center for a while. i dont want to go into too much detail about my personal life but the past few years have been entirely focused on improving myself.

i also finished college, so im trying to find my place in the world on top of all of that. i really wanted to do animation/art as my career, i even got a degree in computer animation... but i dont feel like i learned much... and i cant sit in a chair long enough to actually get any work done. its so painful to draw, and even exist for that matter. im in a lot of pain, constantly. it sucks. ive been working really hard, but if i dont improve soon. i might need to pursue a different profession.

i do have a lot of art i havent posted here that i plan to post eventually, but ive been very preoccupied. on hiatus basically. sorry to everyone on discord i havent replied to (i have so many dms but no energy to keep up with this online identity T_T). ive taken a severe step back from the internet as a whole, and everyone on it, i guess. id like to create more original content... but because of everything that's happened, my creative juices arent flowing as much anymore.

i hope you all wont miss me too much. id like to come back some day, i hope i can get better soon. i love you guys, and thanks for checking up on me anon. it means a lot to me that people still care/think about me. heres a slyth doodle i made for you, he misses you too.

[unwellcryptid]

hi. im an artist who isnt really an artist so much as a guy who happens to draw.

i also have a myriad of illnesses and conditions that fuck with my ability to do that, or to enjoy it.

ive been having a very difficult time making anything i wanna make recently. i say recently, but it wasnt that recent honestly- back in, what, 2020 or 2021, i developed a repetitive strain injury in both my arms, afflicting the muscles responsible for closing my hands and the down motion- both things you kinda need to do when you draw.

i should clarify that i didnt develop this because i was drawing excessively- i cant say ive ever drawn excessively, i dont think im capable quite honestly- but because of how i held myself at all times all the time for basically my entire life.

the RSI (abbreviated for repetitive strain injury because thats A Lot To Type) is responsible for my chronic pain. i hear some people can recover totally from an RSI, but alas i am not one of them.

i started drawing in 2016, and i had decided very strictly to draw Something every single day due to instruction from the artists i learned from, and i had largely done that.

but part of my (attempted) recovery from my RSI was not being able to draw. i knew, before it even began, that if i stopped drawing for very long, i would have an extremely hard time picking it back up.

(this had happened before, in smaller ways. if i didn't draw for a week or two, drawing was a major struggle and i enjoyed it way less, so i didnt draw as much. i almost had to force myself to draw just so i could build a pattern to enjoy it again. the RSI recovery was worse, i wouldnt be able to do anything for months, even if i wanted to.)

and as i predicted, when i stopped drawing for that long, i found it nearly impossible to pick drawing back up. this struggle has continued to this day- ive never been able to draw every day anymore- not helped by the fact the RSI never went away, so drawing can be physically painful if im not careful- but it isnt ONLY the RSI messing me up.

i realized i formed a very strained relationship to creating drawings itself.

its kind of hard to talk about, because i feel totally alone in having this problem. every artist ive ever known or even heard of has all said the same thing, that making art is part of who they are. theyve been doing it naturally, even if they havent been drawing since childhood, its still an easy and simple thing for them to do. most talk about how art got them through depressive episodes and bad parts of life, or how it helps them work through their emotions, or how its part of them recovering energy after a long day.

its none of those to me. drawing has always been a strain, a second step i take in my creativity that i work very, very hard to do. it takes energy, it causes pain, and usually it didnt help me with my emotions. that was never the point of me drawing.

i suspect the reasons why im struggling with art are complex and varied and i feel like its almost impossible to talk about with artists. they never get it, especially not professionals, especially not healthy ones.

so i guess i made a tumblr blog about it. because i wanna talk about it, and the best i can do is make my own space for it.

im not gunna post art here, but the plan is to post about art, and about how i'm handling it, about why i'm feeling this way, and how i'm doing with it day-to-day. i think that might help

[kin-the-muffin]

haha soooo many things happening rn and i feel like i have so much time to do nothing like i used to but when i take a step back sure i have less but i still have a lot but then i remember that theres homework im already ignoring in my classes and new friends to know and be known by and old friends to either dump cuz theyre toxic and i never realized or try in vain to keep ahold of a slipping relationship and im in my senior year now hahahaaaaa

vent below

i auditioned for my school’s musical and i finally got a speaking part and im also technically a lead and that rly cool but it also means im going to have to stay at school for twelve hours almost every day until the second week of march when the play ends

im in my school’s honor choir and its a zero hour so i have to wake up at unheavenly times to get there and sing for two and a half hours

i get to be in a rly big state choir too and thats coming up in february and i havent looked at the music yet and i cant get the remind to work and all the emails are so long-winded and badly-formatted and confusing

and my english class is nearly full of students so thats fun and my school has zero, count em, Z E R O good senior english teachers but im pretty sure i have the better of two devils and i had her last semester so i know her and she knows me but i also know the kinda bs shes gonna throw at us and i just have to hope that she wasnt lying when she said that this semester would be easier because we’re not working on senior papers this time (mine was about mental health in schools not that anyone asked lolll)

i also have the same government teacher as last semester which is both a blessing and a curse because i know what to expect but like none of it is good and he makes us do these stupid unnecessary tiny group projects and why tf cant i just work alone i only know one person in the class and his lectures are so pointless and please just let me take all the tests and be done with this heaven-forsaken class already

then im in studio art which is basically the highest level art class at my school and you have to get permission from an art teacher to be in one of their hours then you work on one huge independent project the whole semester and my art teacher knows i draw on my ipad and said i could make a comic so now i have to figure out what its about then i can hopefully start the ball rolling from there but i have too many ideas and not enough at the same time and none of them are developed enough to make a 22-page, fully edited-and-colored comic

and my choir director is so incredibly passive aggressive but not really on purpose, he just knows he has a rbf and so he overcompensates to make himself more friendly but then when his patience runs thin he yells and i wanna cry and die and quit high school and cry some more

and im trying so hard not to stress over college because i know im gonna take a gap year so i can think about it then but two of my sisters have offered their homes to me and i love them both so much and ive been thinking about just getting an apartment and a roommate but i have to tell them that because one of them is going to renovate their basement with my potential living there in mind and then i end up stressing about college anyways like what major and what minor and what school and what even is my endgoal???? i dont know?!?!??!?!! i dont know what i want to do with my life, not specifically! my biggest dream rn is to be an mc streamer and thats just cuz im back in my mcyt phase and the old pipe dream from my childhood has returned but i know it cant actually work out btu the dreamer in me says it can but i know it realistically has like a .000002% chance of actually happening

and thats all i have the energy to say rn

sorry for the rant

sorry for not posting

ty and goodnight

[nightswithkookmin]

MONDAY, JANUARY 18TH: GOLDY'S LOG

I miss Suga. Scratch that. I miss Agust D. My spirit animal.

I've been thinking about him a lot lately, wondering if his injury isn't an exemption to military service. I wonder if he qualifies, in light of his injury, as an able body. I wonder what their law defines as able body.

I wonder if he passed the legal physical exam and health assessment test when he turned 19, since he's had that injury way before debut. Or if BTS have undergone that mandatory military service assessment since they are all past 19 and what their results are.

Jimin has chronic back pain too. That should qualify him for an exemption to military duty. He can still do desk work if it's that serious.

I should talk to ***** and look into South Korea's law on exemptions to military service.

Moon values the arts and culture industry. There's already been an extension for conscription for the benefit of BTS. Their success and longevity in the spot light perhaps influenced this decision. Should BTS maintain this momentum, an exemption would be inevitable I feel.

I miss them. They've been gone for too long. I'm worried about the impact this is going to have on their popularity if they disconnect from fans for so long or be mechanical about the way they connect with their fans.

I hate the limited access to them. But Scarcity increases the value of a product and it's not surprising if this is the approach BigHit is adopting in the wake of the pandemic.

Limited access not only raises value, it creates demand. Bang PD is a bigbrain marketing genius- I hate it.

They are taking a huge risk with this new marketing strategy. Personally, I'd stick to what works but then I am no marketing guru. Just a consumer who likes to play it safe. I guess I won't be getting hired anytime soon. Fuck.

It's all very fascinating.

What's equally fascinating is the shippers out here on these streets. The Jokers.

I... they confuse the hell out of me sometimes.

How are they going to question my rationality when I talk about moments I feel Jikook are having issues in their relationship or had broken up etc but then have no problem with and even applaud that same rationality when I talk about moments that has led me to believe there is lack of depth in Tae Kook's dynamics or that they are not real by any standard or that another ship in BTS isn't real.

Do I have two minds? Or are they more inclined to be selective in their beliefs based on their biases towards Jikook and against other ships? It's weird.

By the same lens I define Jikook as real, I define Tae Kook or any other ship that includes JK and Jimin as not real. And by that same lens if I feel Jikook aren't together then I'm wrong and irrational?

It really confounds me.

Not sure if they expect me to apply double standards to Jikook in those instances.

I don't think there is right and wrong opinions or perspective when it comes to shipping, but I think if they are right about me being wrong about my perspective on Jikook then I must be wrong about my perspective on any other ship in BTS as well.

I can't be right about one and wrong about another. I'm either right about all or wrong about all.

I can't be 'right' about Tae Kook having 'issues' in their bond in such a way I think it often bars them from fully nurturing their bond and developing depth to it but then be 'wrong' about Jikook also having issues that mess with their bond from time to time when it's the same measurement I use in accessing the depth of bond of both ships.

I really don't understand their way of thinking.

What is right and what is wrong and who decides on that?

I think we ought to substitute right and wrong with 'believe and believable.' The approach to such discourse should be about what one is willing to believe or not believe about certain discussions: I believe this. I don't believe that. Because believes stem from our personal biases towards a subject.

And the people that come running to me with 'look, Jikook smiled at each other in On era so change your mind'

I would except I hear this debate all the time. I wonder if they realize they sound exactly like the Tuktukkers in my DMs trying to convince me Tae Kook is real.

'Look Tae sat on JK's laps! How can you say there is no depth to Tae kook' ' He squished JK's cheeks' 'Jk said he wants to ride with Tae, if there was no depth why did he say he wanted to ride with him'

I have a feeling Soft Koo is back. The days of Terminator JK might be over. Too bad, I liked terminator JK. He was a bad ass.

I like that he is experimenting with his looks. But I'm glad his Ravi-esque phase is over. I wonder who he is drawing inspiration from this time. He reminds me of Jimin though. There is something peaceful and serene about his looks.

Can't really tell much because Bighit is sitting on tons of footages. I think I need to send a truck to Bang PD HQ.

I don't like that Jimin posted a Vhopemin photo for Tae's birthday. It was cute and all but I don't like it. That shit felt passive aggressive as fuxk. Lmho. What, he didn't have a V or Vmin photo in his gallery? Sounds like someone didn't put much effort in their VMin agenda for this post.

I wonder if he will keep the same energy come JK's birthday. I mean both him and Tae didn't post for him���

May be I'm reaching on this one. But a single post where V was not even the focus of the post... I think his birthday means a lot to him and he enjoys when people shower him with love and attention and I don't think his birthday is an exception.

And he kept reiterating after such said birthday how he recently discovered he loves to be loved and how he does most of the things he does in order to be loved by his fans, friends and family.

And it breaks my heart that, the headlines read BTS shower X, Y with love on his birthday but the two people close to him were missing from that list this time. The media talks about BTS posting for eachother as them showering eachother with love. Certainly they all know this.

And the fact Jin posted for Tae after Tae's birthday says a lot about Tae and JK. Tae had no intention of posting perhaps because he left JM a message on the packages. With Jin I feel he was overcompensating for not posting for him on his birthday...

JK gets a pass. If JM wasn't happy about him not posting for his birthday, he would have pulled a Jin.

Jimin talking about coming to the realization he loves to be loved makes me think JK withholding his affections openly made him come to the realization he loves to be loved. Just a hunch. And the only reason JK would withhold his affections is if Jimin himself estopps him. Those two give me headaches.

I think I got the closure I needed from this.

LESSON: dont get on JM's bad side and bloody post for his birthday 💀

Tae been releasing photos of Jimin and Jhope a lot lately. Not sure how that makes me feel either. I think it's beautiful. But when I think about all these beautiful photos he has of Jimin on his phone and how generous he is with them- I think they would have been more meaningful had he released it on JM's birthday. The snow photo he posted still sits in my Vmin heart somewhere.

I really don't like this not posting for each other's birthday business. It's 2021. They need to cut it out.

I feel JK set a bad precedent but personal happiness first so good for him.

This moment haunts me for some reason.

What was going through V's head. I want to know. RM looks done. Lol.

Jimin is really beautiful. I love his eyes when he smiles and the thing he does with his shoulders.

Some people complain I write a lot. Some say I don't write enough. Ayayayai!!!!!!

What to do.

I think I accidentally deleted a post.

I'm looking forward to JKK1. Stay Gold, Still with you, Your eyes tell... I hope he hasn't given his best away cos those were bops.

PJM1... oh God I'm nervous. I'm excited for it but nervous. I think Serendipity is a classic. The Christmas song was equally great and frankly the only good Christmas Ive heard so far and I don't even like Christmas- nothing against Baby Jesus I just think it sucks. That bridge in Dis-ease is something.

I want to read his thoughts. His spotify playlist is insightful but I want to confirm if he really sees himself as a mess who is always causing his lover grief.

I mean he did say he has realized he needs to be considerate towards those that love him. Not sure yet the connection there.

I want to read his thoughts.

PJM1....

I love JHOPE. I think his ship with Jimin is beautiful and healing. They make my insides warm. Not sure if their shippers think they are real. Do they? That would be awkward.

I think RM and Jimin need to spend time together... it would be good for them.

Jimin and Sungwoon shippers are alleging Jimin has been staying with Sungwoon all this while. LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL

But the bit about him living with Sungwoon before the start of Bon V 4 has me🤔

Around that period, I don't believe JM was at the dorms and Jikook were not together then too. He must have been staying somewhere...

I'll let them have that.

But around November 2019 when he was having issues with JK he was staying with Tae too so no I don't think that means Sungwoon is queer or that Jimin is sleeping with him💀

They need to get out of their imaginations.

I think Jikook will drive me crazy one day.

I can feel my cranium swelling.

JiRose shippers need to pack it up. They really think Jimin is straight? 💀

It's the bad editing for me.

That doesn't look like a straight face to me. Unless his butt was on fire and he was uncomfortable looking at that black interviewer, I think that's his flirting face.

Lately I've been thinking about what ifs.

What if Jikook is not real?

I wish I believed that.

[ticktockteapot]

I had to step away from Wonderland for a while (long post ahead)

Sooo hi, I know Ive been absent from this blog for these past couple of weeks but ALOT of shitty things have been happening IRL....

TL:DR I had mental breakdowns, existential crises, and depression from burnout/finances. But then I met some people that helped me fall back into my wonderland phase. Now I've got a new job and Im gonna get my shit together

Click the Read More below

Having a literal existential crises about wat I'm doing with my career (or lack thereof)

My current job messing up my paychecks for a 2 months so I had ALOT of financial stress bcuz my bills were due which led to panic attacks and the return of my alcohol addiction 2: electric bugaloo

✨JOB HUNTING™✨

✨Preparing for interviews for said job hunting✨

✨✨LITERALLY HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISES ABOUT WHETHER OR NOT I SHOULD FOLLOW MY DREAM JOB (ANIMATOR/STORYBOARDER) OR STAY STUCK IN A SOUL CRUSHING CORPORATE JOB THAT CAN KEEP ME FINANCIALLY STABLE BUT NEVER HAVING ENOUGH TIME OR ENERGY TO MAKE MY ART/IMPROVE MY DRAWING SKILLS✨✨

And the fandoms that I'm in didn't help my mental state at all either... 😔 This blog and the fandoms were supposed to be my escape from reality but there was nothing but negativity/bad vibes/not enough content which pressured me into trying to be the mediator and push myself to try to come up with more content. . . . but I just got burnt out halfway (now I have even more unfinished projects) and I just became severely overwhelmed and shutdown (being an empath really sucks besties hahaha 🙃)

I started really doubting myself especially about my art skills and if I'm worthy of being a self-proclaimed content creator (as many other artists tend to struggle with too)

I literally never had any energy and time to create stuff bcuz it conflicted with my work schedule, which made me lack motivation to get anything done and my unmedicated ADHD certainly didn't help either sheeeeeeesssshhhhhh

But it seems like the universe aligned and I got a major wake up call and it gave me some hope!

A few weeks ago on my way to work at the Chocolate Factory (working the assembly line at a chocolate factory is not as 🎉fun🎉 as one would think ngl) my Uber driver that night just so happened to be an ex-Disney employee! His name is Peter and he used to be a Disney Sketch Artist and did a little voice acting for the Disney Parks. I started asking him all these questions about working for Disney and he mentioned how he's trying to earn money for his daughter to go to art school and I kinda fangirled about the other Disney Sketch Artist "Briannacherrygarcia". During the whole conversation I couldn't help but feel so inspired again and felt like maybe I could actually get somewhere with my art... If he could do it maybe so can I?

Go follow him on his social medias!!! Hes really cool!!!

And if THAT wasn't more of an eye opener then last week was! Apparently one of my coworkers in the factory used to work for Disneyworld and Universal Studios!!! She used to be a cast member for the parades as The actual Mickey Mouse, Minnie Mouse, Donald Duck, Winnie the Pooh, Piglet, Stitch, Timon, Meek, Turk......and best of all....... THE WHITE RABBIT himself 🐇 I can officially say I'm friends with the White Rabbit!! She even gave me a bunch of autographs too!!!

As of right now Im finally in a better place to start over and I start my new job in 2 weeks (it's not a Disney job but atleast it's away from my soul crushing job at the factory. Baby steps...baby steps....) and maybe I can get my shit together and muster up some courage to do the things that made me happy again...

TL:DR I had mental breakdowns, existential crises, and depression from burnout. But then I met some people that helped me fall back into my wonderland phase. Now I've got a new job and Im gonna get my shit together

[dollkastleinfo]

Dollzkastle

This is a blog dedicated to fans of the dollzkastle

To answer some Questions that you may have for myself or the dolls~ 🎀

I am going off of the questions I’ve been asked for years or even the new ones I’ve been getting since I’ve created a Tiktok~ I hope this answers your questions you’re looking for, now let’s begin 🐮

Myself Behind the dolls; my name is Decklynn but people call me Dk or Deck. I am an Agender with He and Him pronouns. I am a little with a caregiver/ daddy and I am a pet owner of 3 Kitties. I do both makeup and Doll art. I am a twenty something year old adult who’s been into crafting and customizing Dolls since I was a child. I am also an artist and got interested in drawing at a young age so I already had the type of skill to Draw on things and recreate facial hair and all types of stuff like this. I went to collage and majored in art while living at home with my parents who were Both Transphobic and Homophobic but also Abuse I’ve endured since a young age, physical, mental ive developed a great deal of mental health problems That even now I am being diagnosed and treated for. With an alcoholic parent and upon my mental health problems and living in a terrible environment that was life long I left home and left school and started my own life with my fiancé One day my fiancé was online and seen Big dolls that looked realistic and those dolls I was so fascinated by. I have never seen anything like them and to make a big 3D version of my ocs and crafting just sound like a dream come true. So I did it! I bought my very first BJD 600$ and I never regretted that. I wanted this one because I just fell Inlove with him. I know you’re thinking 600$!? That’s crazy but it literally is worth every penny when you put your heart and soul into a project it’s like your favorite anime character but you create them and you style them, that’s the best way I think I can put it.drawing on them is not as easy as other may think, you can be a phenomenal artist but still lack the skill to paint on them so it took me years to build the skill I have now. I am still learning 🤍🐮My first dolls unboxing is on YouTube under Octoberv12 ~ if you’re interested in just a little photo video of that time it seems like now, forever ago. My dolls gained huge popularity in 2018 on Instagram where there is a page I’ve dedicated to fanart and cosplays if you just #dollzkastlefanart on Instagram you will find them. I’ve taken a big break from them and left my old account behind to start a fresh and new one in 2020 till a month ago that’s when I decided to join Tiktok. I’ve been doing little music clips of the dolls for a while so I thought you guys would Enjoy them too 💓🐮

Questions and answers ?

Where are you from? New York

What websites are you on?

YouTube I have the dolls playlists individually. I put a lot of effort and energy into their characters they all have stories, music playlists and even avatars and their own accounts on Social media sites.

I am on Instagram under Dollzkastle, myDollzkastle, Decklynnkastle, Decklynnkastlee, omridurr, Acydfei, Princethedoll, Rjeaii, Dollzkastlefanart, Xeroyandere, milesophelia, crysky1, miloscenebabyxo,flowerboyrose, & itsmamamikki & Jasphire.vu

On Fb under Decklynn kastle or Milo Ryo

On Tiktok decklynn kastle or Dollzkastle

On Imvu Decklynnkastle, ivanx3, jeninsai, crackheadsymbols, charleta123, oaklynn10, jasphirexx, romanjackjrs, charleta1, Gemini953005, Milesawayfromyliife, BinxLemment, miloscenebaby, yandereboi7, Princethedoll1, acydfei, royal461349, KandyKimmy, mama13708, thyunderbolt1, ezratheomen

On Tumblr @dollzkastle @acydslitterbox

@ezratheomen , @mamamikki there are more but I’m not too active on tumblr right now

Email? @decklynnkastle@gmail.com or @dollzkastle@gmail.com

Do you sell your dolls? No I do not they’re my babies and I put a lot of work into their characters and I am emotionally attached to each of them. I have sold some that I didn’t bond well with.

What do you use to paint on them? I use acrylic paint, soft pastels, water color pencils, graphite, acrylic gloss and sealer. Doll eyelashes, little craft hoops and balls for piercings and craft tiny beads for jewlary. I use yarn sometimes for their hair but other times I purchase their hair online. Sometimes I draw them tattoos and sometimes I use Temp tattoos.

Do you do commissions? I do commissions for people who need work done to their own BJDs like faceups, hair or blush and nail art. I don’t buy dolls to work on to sell but in the future I’d like to do that. It’s an expensive hobby so get your pockets ready. My faceups are 60$ but for something really advanced it will be 80$ plus shipping charges. Nail art is 5$, blush is 10$ wigs are 25$ I’ve had people ask if they could buy the doll send them to my address instead of their home, I work on them and then send them to that person but you have to remember there is money involved and I mean lots of it so if you’re buying a 300$ doll via through me to a website you have to be willing to also pay me for putting this doll together which we can talk about via email the price. I will be able to hook you up with feedback located on Instagram under my thread “Dollzkastle” where you can see some of the items I’ve sold or commissions I’ve done and my customers I’ve had.

The quickest way to reach me is via Instagram on Decklynn kastle 🐮💗

What are the dolls made out of ?

Resin. I know there are vinyl bJDs out there but mine are just made out of resin~ 🍭🤍

So if you don’t sell your dolls, where do I get one ?? On BJD websites but be aware of scams or Recasts also which are usually cheaper and too good to be true prices. I’ve had my fair share in mistakes with this in the beginning after my first Doll. Do lots of research on YouTube to learn more. Recasts are heavily looked down upon in the hobby and people tend to stay away from and not talk about them because they are a problem to the hobby and create damage by taking an artists work and selling them for much cheaper. You will not get head plates or certificate or authenticity cards or an original Box. They tend to be much smaller then an originalwitj seam lines and sometimes they’re easy to spot so just save your coins and go legit, Support the artists. I do not bully people but others will. Some official Bjd cheap websites are thejunkyspot, Angel of dream, mystic kids, migidoll, Alicecollections, bobobie, withdoll, littleRebel, littlemonica, supiadoll and crobidolls and so many more just do some research y’all find them. If you have that type of money or want to save then check, Hummingdolly, dollshe, Soom, Doll chateau, dream valley, Iplehouse, Dikadoll, iOS (immortality of soul) distantmemory (the BTS dolls are from here I know a lot of you like BTS I am a Kpopper myself lol) and there’s just so so much more just type Bjd websites and y’all find a ton~ I just kinda remembered these at the top of my head. Lol 🐮💕

So where do you get clothes and accessories from?! Some are from EBay, Etsy, Amazon. Some are form people on IG who sell first come first served or little shops that don’t have a big name or anything that I just run into who happen to be selling what I want or need for a doll. I don’t make my own eyes but others do I get mine either commissioned or on the websites I just stated. Some stuff are handmade like wigs and clothing I do sometimes make those. You just have to know the size of your doll and their eye measurements and head measurements. 💗🐮

💜🍼Prince and his paci? The girl who sold them I bought two and she stopped selling them I’m currently looking myself for some Bigger doll pacis.

💕How big are your dolls? They’re as big as a toddler but much thinner. Some 3 feet and some a bit smaller but they’re large dolls sometimes people don’t realize that 🐮🤍 you can by a variety of diff sizes like MSD (1/4 30cm ranges) SD (1/3 60-75 cm range) SD uncle 80+ and Yosd (smaller 20cm or smaller range) I might be a little off but it’s because I only purchase the bigger ones I don’t have much interest in smaller currently.

Is it okay if I cosplay or draw or use anything from you for a project or anything like that? Just let me know or tag me 🌸💜🍭 I love seeing recreations in your art style.

Can I send the dolls gifts or things?

Someone is making my dolls currently clothes from their clothing line and I am so excited for this!! Over the years some of the dolls have been greatfully gifted things or given things and it just makes my heart melt so of course you can! Just Message me Via Decklynn kastle on IG to let me give you some info🤍💕💗🐮

I will be back to continue filling this out if I get more questions I haven’t already answered 💕🤍🐮 I hope I answered some for you! 🍭🌸 thank you for being lovely & have a great day!

[fragmentedink-archived]

Hell to Pay: Part Forty- Five

I, II, III, IV, V, VI, VII, VIII, IX, X, XI, XII, XIII, XIV, XV, XVI, IX, IX, XX, XXI, XXII, XXIII, XIV, XV, XVI, XVII, XVIII, XVIIII, XXX, XXXI, XXXII, XXXIII, XXXIV, XXXV, XXXVI, XXXVII, XXXVIII, XXXIX, XL, XLI, XLII, XLIII, XLIV

cowritten by @lux-scriptum

Lev scrunched his nose at Nik, and flicked some water at him. "I think we need more scenty stuff," he said, sighing. "This wasn't enough with the last bath." It'd been a few more days, and Lev still had that lingering undercurrent of death to his scent.

Nik chewed on his bracelet. "I mean, it might be permanent?" Nik said, watching Lev carefully.

Despite himself, Lev's bottom lip trembled. He scrubbed at his face to get rid of the expression. "No," he said stubbornly. "It'll fade. I refuse to smell like roadkill forever. I just need to keep- to keep scrubbing at it." Even if he was already tired just sitting here.

"You don't smell like road kill," Nik said. "Amara's just a bitch."

Lev frowned. "She's blunt," Lev said. "And you agreed! At least that I smell... dead. I don't like it." He held up his rag. "So. Scrubbing."

Nik looked offended. "I didn't say I agreed," he protested, and went on to add petulantly, "If it bothers you that much, you can get axe body spray."

"I think I'd rather smell dead," Lev muttered, scrubbing at himself half heartedly.

"Are you sure?" Nik needled.

Lev threw his rag at Nik and blew a raspberry at him.

Nik caught the rag, smiling a little. "Well, apparently there are worse things to smell like than death, then, aren't there?"

"Hmph." Lev reached for one of the bottles of oils, and poured some in.

"See? I was right."

"Hmph," Lev muttered again, sinking lower in the water. It was hot enough he was flushed gold, but he doubted the warmth would last more than a few minutes out of the bath itself. He lifted a leg and draped it over the bathtub so he could poke Nik. "How long do I have until dinner?"

After grabbing one of Lev's toes and tugging, Nik said, "Until Cameron comes and yanks us out of here."

Lev wiggled his toes at Nik in response, before sighing and sitting up. "Get me a towel?" he asked, pulling the plug.

"Sure thing, Princess." Lev got out while Nik tracked one down, and let Nik rub him down when he got back. He kissed Lev's cheek when he was done.

Lev booped noses with Nik before he went to go find some clothes. Nik wasn't far behind, so Lev just grabbed the first sweater and pair of pyjama bottoms, and backed out of the closet again. He pulled them on and turned to make a beeline for the bed.

Nik caught him around the waist gently. "We gotta eat. Cameron will yell if we don't. Also... I'm hungry."

"We can eat in bed," Lev said, lifting a finger with each point. "I'm sleepy. Cameron never yells, and... we can eat in bed."

"Lev. No. We eat in the kitchen like civilized people do."

"I'm not civilized, I'm a zombie," Lev joked, even as he padded for the hallway.

"You're not a zombie," Nik said sharply, as he pulled Lev towards the kitchen.

"I know," Lev said apologetically as he followed willingly. "I was just joking. I thought it was funny, Nik."

He decided to ignore the look Cameron shot them, and settled at the table, immediately putting his head down.

"Did you not get enough sleep?" Cameron asked dryly.

"I'm sleepy," Lev mumbled.

There was a long stretch of silence, before, "I can see that."

---

Bedtime had become Lev's favorite part of the day. He felt less guilty about sleeping then. Once he was free of dinner, Lev all but dove into bed, and just peeped out from under the covers at Nik. Nik joined him indulgently.

That was all Lev needed to suction himself to Nik's side. He pressed his face to Nik, sighing happily.

"You're not an igloo anymore," Nik said.

Lev hummed. "Good," he said, sitting up and peeling out of his shirt. He flopped back down, closing his eyes. "Maybe the sleeping is helping."

"You mean it isn't my fantastic body heat that's helping?"

"Cuddles help," Lev agreed. "And taking the baths like Ash said probably helped too. Finally."

Nik hummed. "I mean, I guess."

Lev was too sleepy to argue. "Hey, Nik?" he asked, bumping Nik's head with his own.

"Hm?"

"Can you say it again?"

"You mean, 'You're not an igloo anymore'?"

"No," Lev mumbled. "The love thing."

Nik kissed Lev's nose, matching Lev's mumbled tone as he said, "I love you."

A smile crossed Lev's face. "I love you too. So much," he promised sleepily.

"That's because you have taste."

"Not according to Cameron."

"Yeah, well, that's because Cameron's a snob."

Lev laughed softly, but he was already drifting off.

---

Darius had spent the last week and a half, for lack of a better phrasing, hiding. The moment Destris had laid eyes on him, Darius had made good use of the last five hundred years of ghostly practice and kept his distance the best he could.

And the best way he could do that was by keeping Nate company in his house; even if that meant not keeping an eye on his mate in this time. He had barely had a moment where he could go back and just see Cameron and make sure he was getting back to his routine now that Lev was back.

He had spent the last hour or so in Nate's art studio watching Nate paint while his baby napped in a bassinet soundly next to him. At nearly four and a half months Lucas seemed to have grown a bit of chub in his dusted tan cheeks and had seemed to sleep almost completely through the night- especially since Bay and Nate moved Eden to a different room.

The little monster seemed to enjoy screaming in the middle of the night to wake everyone up in the house, especially the little boy who had been sleeping deeply across the room from her. Nate kept side eyeing him from the painting, watching Darius play with Lucas' dark brown locks. "...If you want," Nate said, "I could. Let you hold him? I know you won't hurt him."

Darius hummed faintly. "I know," he said, after a long moment. "However, I'm not too sure that your mate would be as agreeable." Especially since there had probably been a total of two or three people besides Bay himself who had held Lucas.

And that included Nate in the equation.

Nate sighed and leaned back, eyes turning back to the colorful painting he was working on. "Yeah," he agreed. "That's true. Though I think he's getting better." There was such a fondness in his voice, right along with amusement. "He even let Ash hold him, without threatening to break his fingers if he dropped Lucas. I think that's progress to be quite honest."

"Absolutely," Darius said, solemnly. "Besides I don't want to worry about waking the little one up. I'm sure with Eden's shrill lungs it makes nap time a bit difficult."

"The worst. I have the feeling Baylor fights the urge to smother Eden with a pillow on a daily basis."

"He has remarkable self restraint," Darius said, moving up to his feet from the floor. "Would it be alright if I went to check on them?"

Nate flicked him an amused look. "Well you don't need to ask my permission," he said. "Ash said that they seem to be settling back into some kind of normal now that Lev's home. Though I understand if you want to go see for yourself."

Darius gave him a smile before disappearing out of Nate's house to Cameron's. He showed up just in time to see Nik take a sleepy Lev presumably to the bedroom, and while he watched them for a lingering heartbeat, he then turned his attention back towards the kitchen where he knew Cameron would be.

He started his way and settled at the counter, watching as Cameron went about systematically cleaning the kitchen. He had watched Cameron, countless times, in how he cleaned. There was such a meticulous orderliness to it that was fascinating to watch. The kind of order this brought seemed to soothe something jagged within Cameron.

Cameron finished cleaning the kitchen; had wiped down the counters three separate times before finally leaving. He followed Cameron back to the office, settled at the far end of the house from the bedroom, and went to the desk where he promptly went back to doing paperwork.

Darius settled across from him in one of the leather chairs, out of the way. There were carefully stacked blueprints Cameron seemed to be going through while taking and making calls. He did not miss the carefully folded blanket and pillow on the leather couch against the wall, either.

After a while Darius slipped silently from the room and wandered to the bedroom Lev and Nik were sequestered in. He found Lev curled into Nik's chest, out cold while Nik played with Lev's dark waves, half asleep himself.

"It's sad isn't it?" a voice said, from behind him. "Once again you're all alone and left with me. You'd think five hundred years would be enough for you to finally realize you are nothing."

If Darius could actually draw in air, he'd definitely be heaving a long sigh. It wouldn't be worth the energy it would take and instead, he looked squarely at Destris. "I do not need five hundred years to tell me something false," he said. "We're all something and someone, however you just. Happen to be an ass. Are you planning on spending your afterlife watching after Cameron. With me? You could move on... be somewhere not trapped between life and death."

"Have you considered taking your own advice?" Destris asked, mildly. "Or is your infatuation for Cameron just that strong?"

"My love for Cameron is that strong, yes," he corrected. "Not that you would understand, of course. I think any love you had for your family was bled out of you long before Cameron was conceived. And anything that was left was twisted into jealousy."

Destris gave an amused huff of a laugh. "Are you suggesting I am jealous of a bastard?"

A bastard who happened to have admiration and respect earned instead of outright given. "I'm suggesting you find a way to forgive yourself and find peace," Darius said.

The growing amused look on Destris' face was enough that Darius decidedly left and went back to Nate's house, where he knew Destris would not be fool enough to step foot. He found Nate still in the art studio, but this time Lucas was awake and wiggling around on his stomach on the floor.

Nate instantly looked up from his spot on the floor next to his son. "Are you alright?" he asked, concerned. "You look... upset."

Darius shook his head and settled down on the floor next to him, watching Lucas wiggle and babble happily at Darius. "Hi baby," he said, softly.

Happiness lit up Lucas' face like a thousand little suns. Nate looked fondly at his baby. "He clearly takes after me," he said.

"I can see that," Darius said. "He has a beautiful smile."

"He's a beautiful boy."

While Nate and Darius went about gushing after the baby, Lucas decided to reach for the closest toy he could get his tiny gums on.

---

Lev woke up burning hot. He swallowed a whine, and sat up. Sweat slid down his back as he rubbed his face. After a second, he leaned over and took Nik's pillow from under Nik's head. Nik whined at him, still half asleep, but Lev just got up and crawled in the closet. He closed the door behind himself and set Nik's pillow down right up against it while he dragged his nest closer, and then flopped down, confused.

This was definitely his heat, which made how tired he'd been make so much sense. But with his fever rising, it was getting hard to focus. He couldn't explain why he needed to be here, in the closet, and not out there with Nik.

A few moments passed, and then he heard Nik sit on the other side of the door. "Are you okay? Do you need me to get Cameron?"

Lev watched Nik's fingers wiggle as far under the door as far as they could. "No," he managed. The only thing he could get his omega to tell him was that he had to protect Nik. Not from what, just that he had to do right by Nik and that meant keeping space between them.

"No, you're not okay, or no, don't get Cameron?"

Lev curled tighter. "I don't know," he finally mumbled. His throat tightened. "I don't know," he repeated, but his voice began to rise with barely contained hysteria.

He could hear and smell Nik leaving quickly. The distance between them sent pain spiking through him. He whimpered, bit down on his pillow, tears rolling down his cheeks.

A knock on the closet door startled Lev. Judging by how the pain eased, Nik was back, but it was Cameron who said, "Talk to me."

Lev pushed his back against the door firmly. "My heat- I didn't know- didn't want-"

"I know," Cameron said. "Do you want my help?"

"No," Lev said abruptly. He thumped his forehead against the door, muddling his way through the conflicting instincts. "No, I can't- you can't- no. We didn't talk about- anything before."

"We're talking now. What do you want?"

"No," was all Lev could manage. "I can't think." His fingers found their way to his hair and dug in. "It's so hot. I have to protect Nik. I have to do right by- no. I can't think. I can't- no."

Nik's voice was very high. "What do you mean you have to protect me?"

"I have to- my omega-"

"Let me help you. I want to help you." Nik paused. "Please."

"No." Lev closed his eyes. "No."

"Nik, go call Ash."

The door rattled a little as Nik sat down against it. Lev could hear him calling Ash as told, and he could smell how close Nik was. Lev shoved himself against it, and then he backed up somewhat. He buried his face in the pillow, sucking in a few ragged breaths.

He blocked out whatever conversation was going on on the other side of the door. All he could focus on was how hot he was. Shivers crawled down his spine, and even just laying there was unbearable even with the soft blankets and pillows with him.

For a few minutes, Lev wrestled with his instincts until he could drift into a half conscious doze. Cameron knocking on the door dragged him unwillingly from it just as he was adjusting it.

"Open the door, Levant," Cameron said, alpha firm.

Lev whined, but he scooted away from the door until his back hit the far wall, dragging his Nik-pillow with him. Cameron knelt in front of him. All he wore was a pair of black silk pyjama bottoms, and he had an open bottle of water in his hand. "Drink."

Lev took it warily, but half of it was gone in one go. It helped a little, but Lev just stared blankly at his alpha. When his alpha brushed his fingers against Lev's forehead, his cheeks, Lev held still. His head was spinning, and he could feel the heat radiating off of him.

"It's just a heat," Lev mumbled. "I can't- I can't think. I can always think."

"It's not just a heat. You were dead."

Lev pressed his palms against his eyes. "It's too soon," he whined. "I don't like this."

"You disliked being dead even more."

Another whimper came from Lev. He hunched over, at least until the water bottle started to spill. He sat up enough to stare at it blankly. In the end, he just held it out to his alpha hesitantly. Once the bottle was taken from him, almost gently, Lev folded in on himself again.

"You need to let Nik take care of you."

Lev shook his head. "I hurt- I'll- no. I can't." He didn't know how to explain the sheer conviction that he had hurt his omega before and that he would do it again if he wasn't careful. They hadn't discussed his heat. No one could consent in this. Not while Lev couldn't think straight and the other two would take care of him whether they really wanted to or not. It was how they showed they cared.

"Then what can you do?" His alpha was being so patient. Lev wanted to cry.

Instead he swallowed hard. His thoughts were racing, disjointed. "I can sleep." He pulled at his hair. "I can eat when I need to. But I can sleep through this."

His alpha nodded. "Fine. But Ash is on his way."

Ash. Ash. Lev had to blink a few times before the name clicked. Right. Ash. "Okay," he said in a small voice.

"Are you staying in here? We can move your nest to the bed, if you want."

Lev shook his head fiercely. "No."

His omega poked his head around the closet. "Can I come in there?"

Oh, the tone in his omega's voice. It hurt to whisper his, "No," but he just listed to the side and curled up. "I need you safe."

"Safe from what?" His omega asked, voice rising in confusion.

"Me," Lev mumbled, shrinking back into his nest and trying to crawl under the blankets.

That got his alpha's attention. "Lev, stop that. You're about as threatening as a piece of toast." Lev just closed his eyes and clutched the pillow close. Everything was so warm, and his head was swimming. His alpha put his hand in Lev's hair. "You're not going to hurt him."

It- it made sense, and yet- there was some sort of- voice, deep down, that his alpha was wrong, and he couldn't risk it. He couldn't. Logic had no place in a heat.

"Fine," his alpha finally said, resigned. "Nik's not going to leave. I'll be back in two hours."

Lev was confused until it clicked that it was probably almost three in the morning. Cameron usually got up before the sun, and that's when he started breakfast. At least he was keeping his routine. Lev just curled tighter.

---

Lev heard Ash before he saw him. The beta had the decency to knock on the closet door before he stepped inside. Lev's sleepy yes was enough invitation for Ash to kneel beside Lev's nest. Ash had questions for Lev, but when Lev just stared at him blankly, struggling to form a coherent thought, much less an answer, his omega took over for him from outside the closet.

"Why aren't you letting Nik in here?" Ash finally asked him directly.

Lev burrowed under his blankets. "I said no," he mumbled.

Ash sighed. "You need to stay hydrated," he finally said. "If he gets worse, call me."

"You're not going to make him?" His omega asked.

Lev almost wanted him to. He ached to be curled up in his boyfriend's lap, not huddled alone in a pile of blankets.

As soon as Ash was gone, Lev wiggled out of his clothes, throwing them out of the closet forcefully. Better. Better.

"Lev?" His boyfriend sounded so small and anxious. "Are you mad at me?"

Tears pricked at his eyes. "No," he choked out. "I love you. But I can't-" He had no idea how to explain the sheer conviction that Nik was safer away from him.

"You can still be mad at me and love me."

"I'm not mad," Lev said, finally starting to cry. "I'm not. I'm not. I just want- I have to do right by you. I just need- I need-"

"What does that mean?"

Lev flinched at the yell. "I don't know," he yelled back, and started crying harder. "I can't think."

"You don't have to think, you just have to let me hold you."

Lev wanted it. Wanted it so bad. His instincts were begging him to go, but he just curled tighter. "Just let me sleep," he said wetly.

"Okay," he heard his boyfriend say, and Lev could hear the tears in his voice too. Lev turned to face the wall, clawing for sleep. Maybe that would help.

---

Two days later, and everything was worse. His nest was soaked in sweat, and if Lev had been in any state of mind to be grateful, he would have been about the fact that he wasn't even a little aroused this heat. Instead he was hot and in pain. Every breath felt like swallowing glass, and he wanted to tear his skin off. It hurt.

Some time in the afternoon, Lev couldn't help it, and started to sob. That hurt too, but he couldn't stop. "Nik," he choked out, digging his nails into his arms to stay grounding. "Nik," he tried again.

The pain spiked as Nik's footsteps retreated. Lev muffled his cry with a pillow, curling tightly around himself. His alpha's scent appeared, but that wasn't who Lev wanted. "Nik," he whimpered.

His alpha grabbed him by the scruff. It was an old hold, one alphas used to make an omega go limp and make them easier to carry. Lev was honestly grateful for it; no matter how much it hurt, his body loosened enough for Cameron to carry him out of the closet. He found himself dropped in a lap.

"Let your mate take care of you," his alpha said firmly.

Lev couldn't argue with that. Not now. It felt right, with his mate's arms around him. Lev immediately started pulling on Nik's t-shirt. Nik hesitated, but let Lev undress him. Skin pressed against him, finally soothing most of the pain. Lev's tears lessened.

"Thank you," Nik mumbled as he held onto Lev.

Through his swimming thoughts, Lev managed to pluck out what he wanted to say. "You were right," he rasped.

"Of course I was. I'm always right." His mate sounded petulant, but all Lev cared about was the arms around him and the heartbeat against his hand.

---

Nik hadn't let go of Lev the moment he managed to get his claws into him. For the next day Lev's body temperature hadn't fluctuated in the slightest. Instead it had remained at a constant sweltering temperature, clinging to Nik the whole time.

He tried keeping his stomach not so pressed against Lev without his shirt. Amara's words about his weight were still ringing in his ears and he didn't need Lev's heightened instincts picking up on any of that.

Nik's head shot up when he heard someone knocking at the doorway. A growl was sitting deep in his chest before he even realized it was Ash at the doorway. That still hadn't stopped Nik from pulling Lev deeper against him.

Lev's only reaction had been a small whine and to dig his nails into Nik's back. Nik gave a small nip in apology before glaring at Ash. It was an effort to remind himself that this was Ash, even as annoyingly preachy as he was at times, he did in fact know what the hell he was doing.

"Can I come in?" Ash asked, from the doorway.

Nik was very aware of how firm his arms were around Lev's shoulders, keeping him as pressed against him as possible. He pressed his lips to Lev's shoulder before looking him in the eye. "Can he?"

Lev only stared at him blankly, eyes fever-bright and beyond gold. Nik took that nonanswer and looked back to Ash. "...sure," he finally said. But he stopped short and said, "Slowly." Unless Ash felt like getting a mouthful of teeth in his carotid. If he was a demon, that would hurt like hell.

Ash took that at the promise it was, and slowly came into the room and sat down on the edge of the bed a healthy space from them both. Ash's face was drawn tight. "Can I look him over?"

"Do I have to let him go?"

"No."

"Then go ahead."

Ash maneuvered around them, clearly having to do something like this before, quite possibly with other omegas in heats. The idea of having to deal with Bay during his heats would be nearly hysterical.

"Any changes at all?" he asked, Nik.

"His body temp has stayed the same, and Cam made him get out of the closet and come up here with me. Before that he was crying and in hysterics." When Lev didn't react to Nik's observations, he added, "That too. He just. Doesn't move and only responds when or if I try to move away from him. I think... he's been ignoring his base instincts, right? That's why this is so bad of a heat?" He fought the rising panic in his voice and kept himself carefully around Lev.

Ash's face was drawn tight. "Yeah, I think so. I wish Cameron had moved him to you sooner."

"He was trying to respect Lev's boundaries," Nik muttered irritably into Lev's burning skin. "And Lev got upset if I tried to come into the closet with him." Though that didn't stop Nik from also not wanting to be in the closet in the first place. And the guilt felt like acid.

That seemed to catch Ash's interest. "Why wouldn't he let you near him?"

"He said he was trying to protect me...?"

"Did he say what from?"

"Himself?"

Ash's face turned thoughtful, if a bit rueful. "Maybe he's trying to atone for trying to keep you dead."

Nik winced at that. "Okay but that doesn't even make sense. He doesn't remember doing that so why would he be trying to protect me from that idiocy now. If you haven't noticed, Ash, Lev is a little more alive? Telling me to be dead now would be a moot point."

"Are you, the most neurotic person I know, going to tell me that Lev would be using rational thinking during a heat at this current moment in time?"

When Nik moved to get just a little more comfortable to stop himself from smacking Ash upside the head, Lev whined and pressed deeper into him, promptly halting Nik's impulsivity. If it had been any other time he'd probably be sulking about it. If Ash didn't get a regular dose of a popping then he got unmanageable and too annoying. "We haven't been able to get Lev to eat very much," Nik admitted. "Not even Cam can until I try to help."

"I'll get an IV set up," Ash said, pulling out his phone to make a note. "Also I'm taking the room next to this one. I'm sure Cameron will be fine with it, if not he can get in line with everyone else who seems to have a problem with how I conduct things."

"Go nuts," Nik said, closing his eyes. "I'm sure he'll be fine feeding you as long as you prove to be useful to him."

---

When Bay said sit, Silas sat. He waited patiently on the couch, but when Bay put Lucas in his arms Silas went very still.

"You drop him and I break your arms," Bay warned.

Silas tucked Lucas close obediently, gazing down at Lucas. "Hi, baby," he cooed happily. Lucas babbled back, which only made Silas grin down at the infant.

"Lev's been alive for a week."

Silas stilled. "What?"

Even if Bay's firm look hadn't kept him in place, holding an infant would have. But still. "Hell of a thing to drop on me with no warning."

"Would you rather me have not told you?"

"No," Silas muttered, but he looked down at Lucas, and let the little boy grab onto his finger. That boy had more Nate in him than Bay, and  that was probably a good thing.

"That's what I thought. If it makes you feel any better, Nik didn't know either until a few days ago. It was a need to know basis, and you didn't need to know."

Silas made a face, leaning back. "You thought I'd run right over the moment I knew?" Silas asked, lifting a brow.

Bay mirrored his look. "If you're suggesting I don't know you're whipped for that boy and would drop everything for him in a heartbeat, you're sorely mistaken. As far as I'm concerned, this was two birds with one stone. Be mad about it all you want."

"He's hardly a boy," Silas grumbled. "If Lev wanted me to come see him he would have called. I didn't barge over there before he died, I won't now."

Bay looked at him for a long, long moment. Gaging. "With the amount you coddled, him, maybe I just assumed you didn't actually know he was an adult. I apologize. Next time your ex boyfriend dies, I'll make sure to act accordingly."

Silas grimaced. "Ouch," he said dryly, before, "Touche."

Bay looked satisfied. "Good." He watched Silas for the longest minute before saying, "If I leave for five seconds to go get my book, can I trust you not to drop my son on his head?"

"I won't budge an inch, Bay," Silas promised. He pressed a kiss to Lucas' forehead, grinned a little when the infant giggled at him around his knuckle.

Bay was only gone for a few seconds, and when he returned, he curled up on the couch opposite Silas and started reading. Silas watched Lucas, humming at him. So Lev was back. And he hadn't called. Which- fair. Not his omega. And Silas had been a shit friend. Maybe everyone was right. Enough people tell him to move on, maybe they had a point.

---

Amara flopped down beside Cin. Once she was settled, he started running his fingers through her hair. "When can we move in again?" Amara mumbled.

"Next week," Cin promised. "Tu pulled some strings."

Cin had found a nice house. Three bedrooms, a kitchen Cin swore up and down he would learn how to use, and two overly large bathrooms. He'd paid for it, and wouldn't let Amara know how much it'd cost. She wasn't sure she wanted to know. She'd promised him she'd let him take care of her.

"I'm assuming we're getting rid of most of my furniture."

"I told you you could keep the things that are sentimental," Cin told her sternly. "Even if it's everything in this apartment."

Amara sighed. "There's not much I want to keep," she admitted.

Cin tugged on her hair. "That's okay."

"Cin?" Amara mumbled.

"Hm?"

"You sure you want to be mated to me?"

Cin pulled her hair again. "I'll say it again, as many times as you need me, Mar. Yes. I wouldn't have asked if I hadn't wanted it."

Amara sighed again, louder, refusing to look up. "I want kids."

"I know."

"And you're okay with that?"

Cin was quiet for a long moment. Eventually he said, "Yes."

"You sure there, Cin?"

"Yeah," Cin promised. "I'm old, Amara. And I actually see a therapist. I think I can handle some kids by this point."

It was Amara's turn to be quiet. "I don't know if I can conceive or carry to term," she admitted quietly. "Not that I've tried, but fuck if I ever managed to keep it longer than a few weeks. Never fucked with protection, didn't care."

Cin let her ramble, and eventually pressed a kiss to her hair. "You've never tried to keep one," he pointed out. "And you've never been sober this long." He hesitated, and then added lightly, "And you're friends with a damn good healer."

"Who, Ash?" Amara asked. "He hates me right now."

"He doesn't hate you," Cin promised. "You should ask for his help, or at least his advice."

Amara grimaced. "Fine. I'll ask. But he's gonna say no."

---

Lev's fever broke two days later. He felt bone tired, and he ached, but he could focus for the first time in days. For a little while he reveled in the closeness, running his fingers down Nik's side, but eventually he looked up at Nik. "Hi," he rasped guiltily.

Nik's face was drawn, and Lev could see the exhaustion on his face. "Hi," he replied.

"I think my heat is over," Lev said in a small voice.

"I can see that. Why don't we get you something to eat?"

"Okay," Lev agreed easily. He hesitated, and then, "Are you mad at me?"

"Are you?"

"Mad at me or mad at you?" Lev blinked.

"At me," Nik clarified.

Lev shook his head a bit. "No?" He touched Nik's cheek lightly. "I wasn't and I am not mad at you. I- I don't know what that was. I can't explain it. My omega- my instincts were- strong. But they didn't make any sense. I wanted you. I promise."

The disbelief in Nik's face made Lev defensive, but he bit his tongue. Eventually Nik just said, "Can I put my shirt back on?"

"Oh. We're naked," Lev said, startled. "Right. Uh. Yeah?" He scooted away enough for Nik to be able to get his shirt. It hung loosely off of Nik. Lev watched him for a long moment, and then, "...mates?"

Nik lifted a brow. "So you remember that?"

Lev shook his head. "I remember what I felt. And I remember needing you. It got more fuzzy once Cam made me leave the closet." He tucked his face in the pillow briefly. "After that it's like my heat kicked into gear for real, and all I remember is it being hot."

"Yeah, you looked pretty out of it." He pinned Lev with a look "Please don't do that again. I thought you were out of the closet years ago."

Lev sat up slowly. "I won't," he promised earnestly. As Nik slid off the bed, Lev scooted towards the edge to follow. Nik was in the process of trying to pick Lev up when Ash barged in.

"Put him down," Ash snapped firmly.

Lev, who had barely made it of the bed, found himself plopped right back down. Nik looked guilty, but he glared at the bed rather than turn and face Ash.

"Hi, Ash," Lev said sheepishly, peeking around Nik. "I think my heat's over."

Ash glared at him, eyes glowing green with his magic. "Yeah, I can see that."

"I thought you couldn't see anything," Nik muttered.

Ash ignored Nik. "How are you feeling?"

Lev watched Nik sit down beside him before he said, "Better. Tired. Kind of achey, but- honestly I'm kind of hungry."

"I mean, probably. You haven't eaten anything in two days."

Lev blinked. "Oh." He stared at the IV in his arm for a good long moment, and then said, "I didn't mean to be such a-" He paused, frowning. "I can go eat now, can't I?"

"A little bit, yes," Ash said. "Your stomach is probably sensitive again."

Lev made a face this time. "Back to broth?" he asked sadly. He pushed himself up, holding onto the IV stand.

"If you hadn't ignored your instincts, we wouldn't be back to step one," Ash reminded him.

"I know," Lev replied. "I'd say I should have thought that through, but I wasn't exactly thinking at all." He looked back at Nik apologetically, and then said, "At least I'm better now."

Ash pointed to the bed. "Sit back down. You lost your standing rights. I'm getting you a wheelchair."

Lev blinked at him sadly. He would have argued, but his knees were already weak, and his head had been spinning lightly since he stood. He opened his mouth to agree, but even taking the step back to the bed was apparently a bit much. The ground rushed up to meet him.

Between Nik and Ash, Lev didn't actually hit the floor. Nik leaned over him as soon as they had him in the bed. "Are you okay?"

"Apparently not," Lev muttered, rubbing his forehead. He looked to Ash. "A wheelchair is probably a good idea."

Ash sighed. "Isn't it?"

"Can I do anything?" Nik asked, still sounding a bit panicked.

"I was going to get some pants," Lev said. "If you could get me some...?"

Nik was gone instantly. Lev peered out at Nik, and then at Ash. "I can still go get dinner, right?" Lev asked anxiously. "Just- with a wheelchair?"

Ash nodded. "It would do you good to get you out of this room."

"Can we go eat by the pool?" Nik asked in a small voice, setting Lev's pants down on the bed. Lev blinked, startled. He hadn't even known they had a pool. Of course Cameron had a pool.

"As long as Lev doesn't try to swim or drink the pool water, I guess."

Nik looked pleased, and looked to Lev, almost as if for permission. When Lev nodded, he all but beamed, and leaned over to kiss Lev's cheek. When Nik pulled away, Lev tugged him close again, pressing their foreheads together. He kissed Nik, soft and chaste. To his relief, Nik kissed back, if a little hesitant.

Lev pulled away before Ash could get annoyed, and looked down at the pants Nik had brought. "How am I gonna get dressed if I'm not able to stand up?" He asked pitifully.

"I'll help you," Ash replied.

And, well. That was that, Lev supposed.

Tagging: @incandescent-creativity @idreamonpaper @solangelo3088 @halstudies @littleyellowdinosaur @caelisis

[madeintimeland]

im oversharing this got long sorry. just reminscing on shit ive thought about a million times over again

theres so much art i want to create and so little motivation. i should start smoking weed again bc every time im high i get my best ideas or at least like, it takes away the layer of film over my brain that stops me from being able to come up with creative ideas, but also im scared its going to send me into mental hell again. like i need to be in a perfect state for it lest i fear im going to invoke my months long existential crisis again and i Cannot be doing that shit rn. but also i wonder if its going to be worth it anyways if i can create something to leave on this earth again. like ive been so bad at creativity lately like i want to draw and produce things and im bubbling over with energy and i feel the ideas fermenting in the deep recesses of my brain like theyre nestled into the grooves and folds but i cant access them yet. and i know i can if im stoned. i might turn into a hermit hunched over my tablet all hours of the day just making shit tbh. i absorb so much of the things around me and i know if i try to make something now its going to basically be direct copies of the things i saw but if im high im sure i can actually create something new and beautiful. im scared of being intoxicated again but i was scared to drink again too and i got drunk and proceeded to love it and want to drink every single day because surprise surprise i have alcoholism coded into my dna and consequentially have an addictive personality in general. which is why i felt like my life was useless without weed. all up until i was finally able to get my hands on a stash that would let me smoke whenever i want versus when i would get a small amount every couple of months and completely and utterly fail at ratioing it out and binge it all and then have ridiculously introspective trips where id start to go a little crazy at the end (i have a distinct memory of looking at a meme that had a woman on it and thinking ‘jesus christ... what the fuck is that’ and then spiraled into thinking about how life is pointless but i didnt have enough weed to continue with that train of thought and if i did i may have had my crisis a lot earlier, it was just inevitable) i just felt like being high was the only time i could actually get in touch with my inner self again. like i used to before the thick clouds of depression and psychosis settled in. but then i finally was able to get high for longer than short bursts of time and it all came to a head where my brain broke and i have existential terror now that i feel im going to not be able to deal with confronting again. but every time i say that it never ends up staying permanently, it comes in waves, it all comes in waves. back and forth. i feel beauty in life and then i feel fear. i feel like its all worth it and then i cant stop thinking about the inevitable heat death of the universe and the pointlessness of it all. and then i get a hug or listen to a really good song and i feel like its worth it again. i wonder if this is just a period in my life im not a total stoner or if its actually permanent. anyways point is i want to make so much stuff that my hands ache and my brain rots when i think about how many things inspire me. thats why my aesthetic tag is #inspiration, its been like that for many years now, its stuff that inspires me. but at what point am i going to turn that inspiration into reality? im bad at initiative. my initiative is going to be when i pick up the pot again because im too lethargic and procrastinatey to create the things i want any other time. but when will that be? i cant see a therapist or anything rn and working it out on my own has been mildly successful, not bad, im not spending every single day in terror like i was at this point last year. it started all going away around august after starting in march. march 30th in fact. from then on its been a constant battle with dissociation. funny because just earlier in march was some of the best experiences of my life. i think if lockdown never happened this never would have happened either but at the same time im left wondering how anybody can go through their life without wondering about the meaning of it all and coming out the other side with purpose and resolve. mine was to enjoy myself and find as much beauty and love in life as i can before i die and enhance the lives of the people around me while i can because i feel too small to do anything on a grander scale. and im fine with that, for the most part, but i still get attacked by these waves of thought where i wonder what the purpose of reality is . i always have to smack myself and remind myself no dumbass you already went over this a million times, just enjoy yousrelf while youre here. but when im high its a million times worse cuz the only time i can get my mind off it is when im replacing it with horny thoughts and thats not the only thing i wanna do when im high ofc i want to experience and create and listen to music. but i mean i havent smoked since june. i think the 15th ? i could go back and read my journals to tell exactly when it was but yeah its been almost a year now and i feel like i might have it in me again. i used to love getting high and working on shit so much. some of my best works and most  creative projects and honestly just most enjoyable periods of my life were when i was high. going back to what i was saying about early march 2020 being the best time of my life, idk what it was about me but i was just having a grand old time experiencing absolute beauty playing ark with my friends, feeling so creative and developing new ideas and experiences, and using the freedom and motivation i felt ingame to also want to explore the world irl. i seriously was close to actually finally reading my survival manual and start camping and shit and i wanted to visit my relatives in their hella secluded farmhouse in the middle of fuck nowhere kansas, cuz i did visit there during that time period and i loved it to death, i felt so free. two different relatives actually and they both had that same aesthetic about them. of course they were horribly racist but i mean, thats rural kansas for you. i just wanted to camp in their woods. its funny because that month was simultaneously the best and worst of my life. all because of weed! if i never started smoking or rather never found a reliable source at that point in my life i wonder how i wouldve turned out? id like to chalk this up to fate that im like this, maybe its for the best, maybe smoking again wont help me but maybe it will. i have a way to ease myself back into it i just need that leap of faith and  bravery like i felt when i was drinking again. its funny because i used to be such a fucking druggie and i wanted to get high all the time and then after my existential crisis that all just. stopped. i feell ike everyone i know is sick of me talking about it but it really fundamentally changed me on the inside even if it doesnt seem like it much on the outside so i feel its right of me to talk about it sometimes. it makes me feel better at least. like this is jsut a thing t hat happened, not a fated break from the universe i cant come back from yknow? i dunno. ive rambled on way too fucking long and idk if anyones gonna read this. tldr i want to draw and create so many things and i have too many ideas to deal with but i only feel ill be able to unlock my creativity and motivation if im high but due to bad past experiences im terrified to get high again. i mean ive done and made some pretty cool stuff since then but the motivation and ideas are much fewer and far between compared to the absolute deluge i get when im stoned , whether any of my ideas are actually any good or if they were just high ramblings is up to debate but i think it gave me a really good way of looking at things and i made some pretty cool stuff and i miss it a lot but i dont know if going back to it is going to be a mistake or not and im not brave enough to find out if itll hurt me again or if im ready. yyyyaaaayyyyy hahahaha ✌

[pantsusnifferr]

I’m gonna be hella honest here, 2020 wasn’t the drastic life changing year i had hoped it’ll be.

Now its a tradition, well maybe, not really. Who knows...

Let’s start with the goals which ive accomplished in 2020 yeah?

Have less regrets Live more, experience more, get out of the comfort zone Be hardworking, be brave Work hard for the company Rekindle ties to the ones important to me Start working on my YouTube channel for company Study hard Be more confident, be more social Be a nicer and kinder person

Yes i definitely have had lesser regrets overall, i learnt that listening to that gnawing feeling in my gut is one of the few things that will lead me to get less regrets. Perhaps that’s an indication of something that you really want on the inside. Many times this year i just took a leap of faith and made decisions on the fly, going out of my way many times just to do the things i wanted to do. The me a year ago would never have done any of these things, let alone spend any money or time into such ‘frivolous’ activities.

Lets go through some of the highlights for my accomplished goals.

1. Bought Airshow tickets on impulse and rented camera lenses just because i had a shot i wanna get. 

Ended up getting that money shot and feeling pretty accomplished. It was nice to meet up and connect with fellow aviation enthusiasts and friends from my Air Force days, but i still felt like i didn’t fit in. Oh well, i didn’t regret anything. I set my mind to a thing i thought would be fun and challenging and i did it!

2. Trespassing into the green corridor for an assignment during the circuit breaker 

haha...Definitely isn’t worth the trouble in the end due to shitty unusable footage and total lack of input when it comes to the editing process. BUT STILL, the feeling of walking through thick jungle and jumping over construction barricades and barriers in the middle fo some goddamn forest just to get some footage is an experience nonetheless! Shitty teammates, good thing we managed to pull through and made some friends along the way. Wasn’t worth it, but i didn’t regret the experience one bit.

3. Got into more active activities with an open mind. 

Went to the gym with friends a lot more and tried to lead a healthier lifestyle, cycling, hema classes (more about that in a bit) The me from a couple of years ago would definately never give this idea a shot. Running at least once a week, keeping track of my health, all these made me feel a lot better. I should really get into it more though.

4. Hema classes
. 

Never thought swinging swords around can be that much fun! And i almost didn’t want to show up because i had a sudden surge of social anxiety in the morning before. Glad i powered through that to get to that class that october aternoon. I was mostly on autopilot, depressed and wanting more...but for the last few months of the year, hema classes gave me something to look forward to, and this really changed up my entire outlook then. I suppose having a newfound hobby you never knew you liked changes people for the better.

5. Going out of my way many many times just to help out a friend. Or just to hang out. 

I remember being too lazy to go out and have fun. Too lazy to wanna get up to get something done even with friends. Installing internet access points, cleaning up rooms, setting up laptops etc. Perhaps its the large amount of FOMO i’ve started to develop, or maybe its just me sick of being a sad loney wreck. Who knows, all i know is its a blessing to have friends and i am so glad that they’re willing to give me their time of the day as well.

6. Making videos for work. 

I didn’t HAVE to do this. Autopilot at work is a scary thing, its my own company and i could’ve done so much more... but i didn’t... or rather i couldn’t. I don’t remember what came over me and how i manage to find the willpower to shoot the videos then edit them over a few days. And i have no idea how i managed to actually follow through with it and get the damn thing edited. Not my proudest work, but damn am i proud of myself for actually doing the thing!

7. Keeping at it for school and not giving up.

Statistics, the killer module. Logistics, another killer one. I studied so so hard for it, i thought i was going to fuck it up like how i fucked up my assignments. But I am so so so glad that it paid off. Taking days of work to study is the correct move and i am so glad i had the discilpine to stick with it. Haha discilpline i said, more like letting the panic set in untill i find myself studying as if my life depended on it. But still, an A and a B+ feels really great though. My first A, that’s still something to celebrate for! Thanks for helping, you know who you are!

8. Giving more of a shit for my company

Im a little undecided about whether i should put this under the part about having no regrets. I am happy with the money and growth we’ve got in our company, alongside the many happy customers ive got, I still somehow felt that i have struggled so much and had a lot more anxiety and stress as compared to the previous years. Perhaps i just need to chill. Although i don’t doubt the fact that taking more responsibility does indeed make things less mundane. Appreciate the increase in pay and bonuses though.

9. Spent quality time with family

I used to have this feeling whenever i am around my cousins, these are the people whom i’ve grown up wit,h and who i used to consider really close friends. I just felt that over the years we have just became different people altogether. They’re normies with normal hobbies, living their lives normally and successfully while im just a weird outsider.

Im somewhat glad that we managed to find some common ground in gaming and our talking sessions. Attending their wedding is a weird feeling but im still somewhat glad that a part of them is still the same on the inside. We might not be as close anymore but im still happy that they treasured the times and memories we had just the same as i did. Lets hope i’ll not fuck it up and i’ll need another chance to rekindle this relationship. Still, them being more successful in life and work still gives me this crazy inferioty complex around them.

Talking with my mom has given me a lot of peace of mind. I am so glad that I have a responsible parent and business partner who shares the same values as i do. Makes things a lot less stressful to know that she’s got my back.

10. Became more social

Yep, went out of my comfort zone many times to talk to people and help out when i could! Its always good to do the kind thing and reach out, when i’d just brush it off as someone else’s problem previously. I am really proud of myself for this.

Now for the goals ive failed. Start work on my personal YouTube channel Join the weeb club to find more gamer weeb friends Learn weeb speak Be healthy Learn 2 songs on bass guitar or ukulele Draw at least once a month (I did but they’re not completed art)

Oof, i don’t know perhaps its the lack of time or the lack of effort. Maybe i’ve been putting in so much effort into the other things i don’t have the mental energy to process these. Perhaps i don’t want it bad enough...

Art and drawing in particular has been really bad. I want to be good at drawing so badly but i really just can’t be arsed to practice. Music too.

I think i am definately healtheir than before but i am nowhere near where i should be. Gotta step up!

Now here’s what i wanna do for the next year

Keep healthy, Lose weight! Be even more social! Start work on personal youtube channel Learn ONE SONG on any instrument Draw at least twice in the next year! Live even more, experience more, get out of the comfort zone more! Be hardworking, be brave

[gods-at-gunpoint]

howdy everyone! first monthly update for drgag, but first, thank you all so much for the support thusfar! im crying guys

lets get into it ! 

november’s been a bit of a hectic month due to the end of my schools semester rounding the corner along with the general chaotic energy of this time of the year, but without further ado!

main takeaways from this month of work has been

-loads of sprites! except. i realized pretty late in the process that i was making them in a very inefficient way and taking like. way longer on each one than i needed to because of this . like 

for anyone making fangans as well its really a learning process and mass producing sprites and shit is a PROCESS. but i feel like the easiest way ive found to make different poses nd shit quicker is to like. LABEL my folders . when i make eyes that i know are gonna change i go in and make a folder where ill put all that. and then when it comes to bodies which i didnt think too hard about at first, especially when it comes to arms... like the best thing i think thats streamlined has been to just draw the whole ass torso and render it and THEN add arms to that, rather than drawing the arms and coloring the arms on the same damn layer as everything else... whereas you have to select the arms and then make a new layer and go BACK and recolor the torso bc u fucked up like... yeah.... 

ive mostly worked on kimiko and itsuki so far because i just love conveying their personalities a lot through their sprites, gonna post a few of my favs-

crackheads. i also made emi sprites but my clip studio file got corrupted? i have to fix that shit msldfkjdf add this to my to do list siri please smflksdf ...ok moving on

-splash art coming along slowly but steadily... will get there eventually its kinda just farther down on my list of priorities rn lol heres a kimiko wip tho

-writing!!! i revised . i HARDCORE revised how i decided to open the game like. shit. fuck. i just had a thought while i was watching nichijou one day and shit i just. damn. i dont wanna say anything bc im like so fucking excited about it but basically it calls for about 30 more scene cgs that i had not prior planned so ive been. grinding so much to try and get those illustrated mkanhuyfysoif but yeah!! i rewrote the whole ass introduction to the prologue god bless . the prologues all done written now but ofc im probs gonna go over it like 60 more times lmao

in other parts of writing i finished about half of the first and third trials, and most of chapter 1′s writing overall... we rlly out here gettin that bread bruh

with writing i guess the biggest thing is like. i have a fuckton of gaps where i just need to put like. the In Between shit mlksdfjiusdf lmao but yeahg. we out here

-programming shit!!! god i . worked on implementing UI into unity and holy shit it was all on fire my pain is immeasurable im not a fucking compsci major fmlkjasuhf98asdofp my compsci major friend was looking over my shoulder the whole time and shaking his head njhysuadgf8sduoifjkdsf but like. basically i figured how to put some basic text box shit up in unity but ive mostly just been grinding away at practicing related C# shit in order to get my life together. also ive been throwing around a lot of UI ideas like 

i dont fucking know. i think im gonna have the whole student handbook on the side of it with shortcuts? at least the transcript, save, load, etc commands on the right side of it... also im thinking of making it much more minimalist than how the DR dialogue boxes are usually bc usually theyre like. largely flashy but yknow i . i dont know i just really like how minimalistic UI looks but i may or may not change my mind on this. god skdfjlsdkf

-here have whatever the fuck this is 

god okay this got lengthy real quick so imma scuttl away now until next time... thanks yall again for your support!!!! i have some breaks from school soon so hopefully i can like. get a lot more stuff done especially w my sprite epiphanies lmao mlsfkjsdf

goodnight!! 

-annie 

art up there without text:

d8 night )

[axbxlx]

Hell to Pay: Part Forty-Five

I, II, III, IV, V, VI, VII, VIII, IX, X, XI, XII, XIII, XIV, XV, XVI, IX, IX, XX, XXI, XXII, XXIII, XIV, XV, XVI, XVII, XVIII, XVIIII, XXX, XXXI, XXXII, XXXIII, XXXIV, XXXV, XXXVI, XXXVII, XXXVIII, XXXIX, XL, XLI, XLII, XLIII ,  XLIV

cowritten by @lux-scriptum

Lev scrunched his nose at Nik, and flicked some water at him. "I think we need more scenty stuff," he said, sighing. "This wasn't enough with the last bath." It'd been a few more days, and Lev still had that lingering undercurrent of death to his scent.

Nik chewed on his bracelet. "I mean, it might be permanent?" Nik said, watching Lev carefully.

Despite himself, Lev's bottom lip trembled. He scrubbed at his face to get rid of the expression. "No," he said stubbornly. "It'll fade. I refuse to smell like roadkill forever. I just need to keep- to keep scrubbing at it." Even if he was already tired just sitting here.

"You don't smell like road kill," Nik said. "Amara's just a bitch."

Lev frowned. "She's blunt," Lev said. "And you agreed! At least that I smell... dead. I don't like it." He held up his rag. "So. Scrubbing."

Nik looked offended. "I didn't say I agreed," he protested, and went on to add petulantly, "If it bothers you that much, you can get axe body spray."

"I think I'd rather smell dead," Lev muttered, scrubbing at himself half heartedly.

"Are you sure?" Nik needled.

Lev threw his rag at Nik and blew a raspberry at him.

Nik caught the rag, smiling a little. "Well, apparently there are worse things to smell like than death, then, aren't there?"

"Hmph." Lev reached for one of the bottles of oils, and poured some in.

"See? I was right."

"Hmph," Lev muttered again, sinking lower in the water. It was hot enough he was flushed gold, but he doubted the warmth would last more than a few minutes out of the bath itself. He lifted a leg and draped it over the bathtub so he could poke Nik. "How long do I have until dinner?"

After grabbing one of Lev's toes and tugging, Nik said, "Until Cameron comes and yanks us out of here."

Lev wiggled his toes at Nik in response, before sighing and sitting up. "Get me a towel?" he asked, pulling the plug.

"Sure thing, Princess." Lev got out while Nik tracked one down, and let Nik rub him down when he got back. He kissed Lev's cheek when he was done.

Lev booped noses with Nik before he went to go find some clothes. Nik wasn't far behind, so Lev just grabbed the first sweater and pair of pyjama bottoms, and backed out of the closet again. He pulled them on and turned to make a beeline for the bed.

Nik caught him around the waist gently. "We gotta eat. Cameron will yell if we don't. Also... I'm hungry."

"We can eat in bed," Lev said, lifting a finger with each point. "I'm sleepy. Cameron never yells, and... we can eat in bed."

"Lev. No. We eat in the kitchen like civilized people do."

"I'm not civilized, I'm a zombie," Lev joked, even as he padded for the hallway.

"You're not a zombie," Nik said sharply, as he pulled Lev towards the kitchen.

"I know," Lev said apologetically as he followed willingly. "I was just joking. I thought it was funny, Nik."

He decided to ignore the look Cameron shot them, and settled at the table, immediately putting his head down.

"Did you not get enough sleep?" Cameron asked dryly.

"I'm sleepy," Lev mumbled.

There was a long stretch of silence, before, "I can see that."

---

Bedtime had become Lev's favorite part of the day. He felt less guilty about sleeping then. Once he was free of dinner, Lev all but dove into bed, and just peeped out from under the covers at Nik. Nik joined him indulgently.

That was all Lev needed to suction himself to Nik's side. He pressed his face to Nik, sighing happily.

"You're not an igloo anymore," Nik said.

Lev hummed. "Good," he said, sitting up and peeling out of his shirt. He flopped back down, closing his eyes. "Maybe the sleeping is helping."

"You mean it isn't my fantastic body heat that's helping?"

"Cuddles help," Lev agreed. "And taking the baths like Ash said probably helped too. Finally."

Nik hummed. "I mean, I guess."

Lev was too sleepy to argue. "Hey, Nik?" he asked, bumping Nik's head with his own.

"Hm?"

"Can you say it again?"

"You mean, 'You're not an igloo anymore'?"

"No," Lev mumbled. "The love thing."

Nik kissed Lev's nose, matching Lev's mumbled tone as he said, "I love you."

A smile crossed Lev's face. "I love you too. So much," he promised sleepily.

"That's because you have taste."

"Not according to Cameron."

"Yeah, well, that's because Cameron's a snob."

Lev laughed softly, but he was already drifting off.

---

Darius had spent the last week and a half, for lack of a better phrasing, hiding. The moment Destris had laid eyes on him, Darius had made good use of the last five hundred years of ghostly practice and kept his distance the best he could.

And the best way he could do that was by keeping Nate company in his house; even if that meant not keeping an eye on his mate in this time. He had barely had a moment where he could go back and just see Cameron and make sure he was getting back to his routine now that Lev was back.

He had spent the last hour or so in Nate's art studio watching Nate paint while his baby napped in a bassinet soundly next to him. At nearly four and a half months Lucas seemed to have grown a bit of chub in his dusted tan cheeks and had seemed to sleep almost completely through the night- especially since Bay and Nate moved Eden to a different room.

The little monster seemed to enjoy screaming in the middle of the night to wake everyone up in the house, especially the little boy who had been sleeping deeply across the room from her. Nate kept side eyeing him from the painting, watching Darius play with Lucas' dark brown locks. "...If you want," Nate said, "I could. Let you hold him? I know you won't hurt him."

Darius hummed faintly. "I know," he said, after a long moment. "However, I'm not too sure that your mate would be as agreeable." Especially since there had probably been a total of two or three people besides Bay himself who had held Lucas.

And that included Nate in the equation.

Nate sighed and leaned back, eyes turning back to the colorful painting he was working on. "Yeah," he agreed. "That's true. Though I think he's getting better." There was such a fondness in his voice, right along with amusement. "He even let Ash hold him, without threatening to break his fingers if he dropped Lucas. I think that's progress to be quite honest."

"Absolutely," Darius said, solemnly. "Besides I don't want to worry about waking the little one up. I'm sure with Eden's shrill lungs it makes nap time a bit difficult."

"The worst. I have the feeling Baylor fights the urge to smother Eden with a pillow on a daily basis."

"He has remarkable self restraint," Darius said, moving up to his feet from the floor. "Would it be alright if I went to check on them?"

Nate flicked him an amused look. "Well you don't need to ask my permission," he said. "Ash said that they seem to be settling back into some kind of normal now that Lev's home. Though I understand if you want to go see for yourself."

Darius gave him a smile before disappearing out of Nate's house to Cameron's. He showed up just in time to see Nik take a sleepy Lev presumably to the bedroom, and while he watched them for a lingering heartbeat, he then turned his attention back towards the kitchen where he knew Cameron would be.

He started his way and settled at the counter, watching as Cameron went about systematically cleaning the kitchen. He had watched Cameron, countless times, in how he cleaned. There was such a meticulous orderliness to it that was fascinating to watch. The kind of order this brought seemed to soothe something jagged within Cameron.

Cameron finished cleaning the kitchen; had wiped down the counters three separate times before finally leaving. He followed Cameron back to the office, settled at the far end of the house from the bedroom, and went to the desk where he promptly went back to doing paperwork.

Darius settled across from him in one of the leather chairs, out of the way. There were carefully stacked blueprints Cameron seemed to be going through while taking and making calls. He did not miss the carefully folded blanket and pillow on the leather couch against the wall, either.

After a while Darius slipped silently from the room and wandered to the bedroom Lev and Nik were sequestered in. He found Lev curled into Nik's chest, out cold while Nik played with Lev's dark waves, half asleep himself.

"It's sad isn't it?" a voice said, from behind him. "Once again you're all alone and left with me. You'd think five hundred years would be enough for you to finally realize you are nothing."

If Darius could actually draw in air, he'd definitely be heaving a long sigh. It wouldn't be worth the energy it would take and instead, he looked squarely at Destris. "I do not need five hundred years to tell me something false," he said. "We're all something and someone, however you just. Happen to be an ass. Are you planning on spending your afterlife watching after Cameron. With me? You could move on... be somewhere not trapped between life and death."

"Have you considered taking your own advice?" Destris asked, mildly. "Or is your infatuation for Cameron just that strong?"

"My love for Cameron is that strong, yes," he corrected. "Not that you would understand, of course. I think any love you had for your family was bled out of you long before Cameron was conceived. And anything that was left was twisted into jealousy."

Destris gave an amused huff of a laugh. "Are you suggesting I am jealous of a bastard?"

A bastard who happened to have admiration and respect earned instead of outright given. "I'm suggesting you find a way to forgive yourself and find peace," Darius said.

The growing amused look on Destris' face was enough that Darius decidedly left and went back to Nate's house, where he knew Destris would not be fool enough to step foot. He found Nate still in the art studio, but this time Lucas was awake and wiggling around on his stomach on the floor.

Nate instantly looked up from his spot on the floor next to his son. "Are you alright?" he asked, concerned. "You look... upset."

Darius shook his head and settled down on the floor next to him, watching Lucas wiggle and babble happily at Darius. "Hi baby," he said, softly.

Happiness lit up Lucas' face like a thousand little suns. Nate looked fondly at his baby. "He clearly takes after me," he said.

"I can see that," Darius said. "He has a beautiful smile."

"He's a beautiful boy."

While Nate and Darius went about gushing after the baby, Lucas decided to reach for the closest toy he could get his tiny gums on.

---

Lev woke up burning hot. He swallowed a whine, and sat up. Sweat slid down his back as he rubbed his face. After a second, he leaned over and took Nik's pillow from under Nik's head. Nik whined at him, still half asleep, but Lev just got up and crawled in the closet. He closed the door behind himself and set Nik's pillow down right up against it while he dragged his nest closer, and then flopped down, confused.

This was definitely his heat, which made how tired he'd been make so much sense. But with his fever rising, it was getting hard to focus. He couldn't explain why he needed to be here, in the closet, and not out there with Nik.

A few moments passed, and then he heard Nik sit on the other side of the door. "Are you okay? Do you need me to get Cameron?"

Lev watched Nik's fingers wiggle as far under the door as far as they could. "No," he managed. The only thing he could get his omega to tell him was that he had to protect Nik. Not from what, just that he had to do right by Nik and that meant keeping space between them.

"No, you're not okay, or no, don't get Cameron?"

Lev curled tighter. "I don't know," he finally mumbled. His throat tightened. "I don't know," he repeated, but his voice began to rise with barely contained hysteria.

He could hear and smell Nik leaving quickly. The distance between them sent pain spiking through him. He whimpered, bit down on his pillow, tears rolling down his cheeks.

A knock on the closet door startled Lev. Judging by how the pain eased, Nik was back, but it was Cameron who said, "Talk to me."

Lev pushed his back against the door firmly. "My heat- I didn't know- didn't want-"

"I know," Cameron said. "Do you want my help?"

"No," Lev said abruptly. He thumped his forehead against the door, muddling his way through the conflicting instincts. "No, I can't- you can't- no. We didn't talk about- anything before."

"We're talking now. What do you want?"

"No," was all Lev could manage. "I can't think." His fingers found their way to his hair and dug in. "It's so hot. I have to protect Nik. I have to do right by- no. I can't think. I can't- no."

Nik's voice was very high. "What do you mean you have to protect me?"

"I have to- my omega-"

"Let me help you. I want to help you." Nik paused. "Please."

"No." Lev closed his eyes. "No."

"Nik, go call Ash."

The door rattled a little as Nik sat down against it. Lev could hear him calling Ash as told, and he could smell how close Nik was. Lev shoved himself against it, and then he backed up somewhat. He buried his face in the pillow, sucking in a few ragged breaths.

He blocked out whatever conversation was going on on the other side of the door. All he could focus on was how hot he was. Shivers crawled down his spine, and even just laying there was unbearable even with the soft blankets and pillows with him.

For a few minutes, Lev wrestled with his instincts until he could drift into a half conscious doze. Cameron knocking on the door dragged him unwillingly from it just as he was adjusting it.

"Open the door, Levant," Cameron said, alpha firm.

Lev whined, but he scooted away from the door until his back hit the far wall, dragging his Nik-pillow with him. Cameron knelt in front of him. All he wore was a pair of black silk pyjama bottoms, and he had an open bottle of water in his hand. "Drink."

Lev took it warily, but half of it was gone in one go. It helped a little, but Lev just stared blankly at his alpha. When his alpha brushed his fingers against Lev's forehead, his cheeks, Lev held still. His head was spinning, and he could feel the heat radiating off of him.

"It's just a heat," Lev mumbled. "I can't- I can't think. I can always think."

"It's not just a heat. You were dead."

Lev pressed his palms against his eyes. "It's too soon," he whined. "I don't like this."

"You disliked being dead even more."

Another whimper came from Lev. He hunched over, at least until the water bottle started to spill. He sat up enough to stare at it blankly. In the end, he just held it out to his alpha hesitantly. Once the bottle was taken from him, almost gently, Lev folded in on himself again.

"You need to let Nik take care of you."

Lev shook his head. "I hurt- I'll- no. I can't." He didn't know how to explain the sheer conviction that he had hurt his omega before and that he would do it again if he wasn't careful. They hadn't discussed his heat. No one could consent in this. Not while Lev couldn't think straight and the other two would take care of him whether they really wanted to or not. It was how they showed they cared.

"Then what can you do?" His alpha was being so patient. Lev wanted to cry.

Instead he swallowed hard. His thoughts were racing, disjointed. "I can sleep." He pulled at his hair. "I can eat when I need to. But I can sleep through this."

His alpha nodded. "Fine. But Ash is on his way."

Ash. Ash. Lev had to blink a few times before the name clicked. Right. Ash. "Okay," he said in a small voice.

"Are you staying in here? We can move your nest to the bed, if you want."

Lev shook his head fiercely. "No."

His omega poked his head around the closet. "Can I come in there?"

Oh, the tone in his omega's voice. It hurt to whisper his, "No," but he just listed to the side and curled up. "I need you safe."

"Safe from what?" His omega asked, voice rising in confusion.

"Me," Lev mumbled, shrinking back into his nest and trying to crawl under the blankets.

That got his alpha's attention. "Lev, stop that. You're about as threatening as a piece of toast." Lev just closed his eyes and clutched the pillow close. Everything was so warm, and his head was swimming. His alpha put his hand in Lev's hair. "You're not going to hurt him."

It- it made sense, and yet- there was some sort of- voice, deep down, that his alpha was wrong, and he couldn't risk it. He couldn't. Logic had no place in a heat.

"Fine," his alpha finally said, resigned. "Nik's not going to leave. I'll be back in two hours."

Lev was confused until it clicked that it was probably almost three in the morning. Cameron usually got up before the sun, and that's when he started breakfast. At least he was keeping his routine. Lev just curled tighter.

---

Lev heard Ash before he saw him. The beta had the decency to knock on the closet door before he stepped inside. Lev's sleepy yes was enough invitation for Ash to kneel beside Lev's nest. Ash had questions for Lev, but when Lev just stared at him blankly, struggling to form a coherent thought, much less an answer, his omega took over for him from outside the closet.

"Why aren't you letting Nik in here?" Ash finally asked him directly.

Lev burrowed under his blankets. "I said no," he mumbled.

Ash sighed. "You need to stay hydrated," he finally said. "If he gets worse, call me."

"You're not going to make him?" His omega asked.

Lev almost wanted him to. He ached to be curled up in his boyfriend's lap, not huddled alone in a pile of blankets.

As soon as Ash was gone, Lev wiggled out of his clothes, throwing them out of the closet forcefully. Better. Better.

"Lev?" His boyfriend sounded so small and anxious. "Are you mad at me?"

Tears pricked at his eyes. "No," he choked out. "I love you. But I can't-" He had no idea how to explain the sheer conviction that Nik was safer away from him.

"You can still be mad at me and love me."

"I'm not mad," Lev said, finally starting to cry. "I'm not. I'm not. I just want- I have to do right by you. I just need- I need-"

"What does that mean?"

Lev flinched at the yell. "I don't know," he yelled back, and started crying harder. "I can't think."

"You don't have to think, you just have to let me hold you."

Lev wanted it. Wanted it so bad. His instincts were begging him to go, but he just curled tighter. "Just let me sleep," he said wetly.

"Okay," he heard his boyfriend say, and Lev could hear the tears in his voice too. Lev turned to face the wall, clawing for sleep. Maybe that would help.

---

Two days later, and everything was worse. His nest was soaked in sweat, and if Lev had been in any state of mind to be grateful, he would have been about the fact that he wasn't even a little aroused this heat. Instead he was hot and in pain. Every breath felt like swallowing glass, and he wanted to tear his skin off. It hurt.

Some time in the afternoon, Lev couldn't help it, and started to sob. That hurt too, but he couldn't stop. "Nik," he choked out, digging his nails into his arms to stay grounding. "Nik," he tried again.

The pain spiked as Nik's footsteps retreated. Lev muffled his cry with a pillow, curling tightly around himself. His alpha's scent appeared, but that wasn't who Lev wanted. "Nik," he whimpered.

His alpha grabbed him by the scruff. It was an old hold, one alphas used to make an omega go limp and make them easier to carry. Lev was honestly grateful for it; no matter how much it hurt, his body loosened enough for Cameron to carry him out of the closet. He found himself dropped in a lap.

"Let your mate take care of you," his alpha said firmly.

Lev couldn't argue with that. Not now. It felt right, with his mate's arms around him. Lev immediately started pulling on Nik's t-shirt. Nik hesitated, but let Lev undress him. Skin pressed against him, finally soothing most of the pain. Lev's tears lessened.

"Thank you," Nik mumbled as he held onto Lev.

Through his swimming thoughts, Lev managed to pluck out what he wanted to say. "You were right," he rasped.

"Of course I was. I'm always right." His mate sounded petulant, but all Lev cared about was the arms around him and the heartbeat against his hand.

---

Nik hadn't let go of Lev the moment he managed to get his claws into him. For the next day Lev's body temperature hadn't fluctuated in the slightest. Instead it had remained at a constant sweltering temperature, clinging to Nik the whole time.

He tried keeping his stomach not so pressed against Lev without his shirt. Amara's words about his weight were still ringing in his ears and he didn't need Lev's heightened instincts picking up on any of that.

Nik's head shot up when he heard someone knocking at the doorway. A growl was sitting deep in his chest before he even realized it was Ash at the doorway. That still hadn't stopped Nik from pulling Lev deeper against him.

Lev's only reaction had been a small whine and to dig his nails into Nik's back. Nik gave a small nip in apology before glaring at Ash. It was an effort to remind himself that this was Ash, even as annoyingly preachy as he was at times, he did in fact know what the hell he was doing.

"Can I come in?" Ash asked, from the doorway.

Nik was very aware of how firm his arms were around Lev's shoulders, keeping him as pressed against him as possible. He pressed his lips to Lev's shoulder before looking him in the eye. "Can he?"

Lev only stared at him blankly, eyes fever-bright and beyond gold. Nik took that nonanswer and looked back to Ash. "...sure," he finally said. But he stopped short and said, "Slowly." Unless Ash felt like getting a mouthful of teeth in his carotid. If he was a demon, that would hurt like hell.

Ash took that at the promise it was, and slowly came into the room and sat down on the edge of the bed a healthy space from them both. Ash's face was drawn tight. "Can I look him over?"

"Do I have to let him go?"

"No."

"Then go ahead."

Ash maneuvered around them, clearly having to do something like this before, quite possibly with other omegas in heats. The idea of having to deal with Bay during his heats would be nearly hysterical.

"Any changes at all?" he asked, Nik.

"His body temp has stayed the same, and Cam made him get out of the closet and come up here with me. Before that he was crying and in hysterics." When Lev didn't react to Nik's observations, he added, "That too. He just. Doesn't move and only responds when or if I try to move away from him. I think... he's been ignoring his base instincts, right? That's why this is so bad of a heat?" He fought the rising panic in his voice and kept himself carefully around Lev.

Ash's face was drawn tight. "Yeah, I think so. I wish Cameron had moved him to you sooner."

"He was trying to respect Lev's boundaries," Nik muttered irritably into Lev's burning skin. "And Lev got upset if I tried to come into the closet with him." Though that didn't stop Nik from also not wanting to be in the closet in the first place. And the guilt felt like acid.

That seemed to catch Ash's interest. "Why wouldn't he let you near him?"

"He said he was trying to protect me...?"

"Did he say what from?"

"Himself?"

Ash's face turned thoughtful, if a bit rueful. "Maybe he's trying to atone for trying to keep you dead."

Nik winced at that. "Okay but that doesn't even make sense. He doesn't remember doing that so why would he be trying to protect me from that idiocy now. If you haven't noticed, Ash, Lev is a little more alive? Telling me to be dead now would be a moot point."

"Are you, the most neurotic person I know, going to tell me that Lev would be using rational thinking during a heat at this current moment in time?"

When Nik moved to get just a little more comfortable to stop himself from smacking Ash upside the head, Lev whined and pressed deeper into him, promptly halting Nik's impulsivity. If it had been any other time he'd probably be sulking about it. If Ash didn't get a regular dose of a popping then he got unmanageable and too annoying. "We haven't been able to get Lev to eat very much," Nik admitted. "Not even Cam can until I try to help."

"I'll get an IV set up," Ash said, pulling out his phone to make a note. "Also I'm taking the room next to this one. I'm sure Cameron will be fine with it, if not he can get in line with everyone else who seems to have a problem with how I conduct things."

"Go nuts," Nik said, closing his eyes. "I'm sure he'll be fine feeding you as long as you prove to be useful to him."

---

When Bay said sit, Silas sat. He waited patiently on the couch, but when Bay put Lucas in his arms Silas went very still.

"You drop him and I break your arms," Bay warned.

Silas tucked Lucas close obediently, gazing down at Lucas. "Hi, baby," he cooed happily. Lucas babbled back, which only made Silas grin down at the infant.

"Lev's been alive for a week."

Silas stilled. "What?"

Even if Bay's firm look hadn't kept him in place, holding an infant would have. But still. "Hell of a thing to drop on me with no warning."

"Would you rather me have not told you?"

"No," Silas muttered, but he looked down at Lucas, and let the little boy grab onto his finger. That boy had more Nate in him than Bay, and  that was probably a good thing.

"That's what I thought. If it makes you feel any better, Nik didn't know either until a few days ago. It was a need to know basis, and you didn't need to know."

Silas made a face, leaning back. "You thought I'd run right over the moment I knew?" Silas asked, lifting a brow.

Bay mirrored his look. "If you're suggesting I don't know you're whipped for that boy and would drop everything for him in a heartbeat, you're sorely mistaken. As far as I'm concerned, this was two birds with one stone. Be mad about it all you want."

"He's hardly a boy," Silas grumbled. "If Lev wanted me to come see him he would have called. I didn't barge over there before he died, I won't now."

Bay looked at him for a long, long moment. Gaging. "With the amount you coddled, him, maybe I just assumed you didn't actually know he was an adult. I apologize. Next time your ex boyfriend dies, I'll make sure to act accordingly."

Silas grimaced. "Ouch," he said dryly, before, "Touche."

Bay looked satisfied. "Good." He watched Silas for the longest minute before saying, "If I leave for five seconds to go get my book, can I trust you not to drop my son on his head?"

"I won't budge an inch, Bay," Silas promised. He pressed a kiss to Lucas' forehead, grinned a little when the infant giggled at him around his knuckle.

Bay was only gone for a few seconds, and when he returned, he curled up on the couch opposite Silas and started reading. Silas watched Lucas, humming at him. So Lev was back. And he hadn't called. Which- fair. Not his omega. And Silas had been a shit friend. Maybe everyone was right. Enough people tell him to move on, maybe they had a point.

---

Amara flopped down beside Cin. Once she was settled, he started running his fingers through her hair. "When can we move in again?" Amara mumbled.

"Next week," Cin promised. "Tu pulled some strings."

Cin had found a nice house. Three bedrooms, a kitchen Cin swore up and down he would learn how to use, and two overly large bathrooms. He'd paid for it, and wouldn't let Amara know how much it'd cost. She wasn't sure she wanted to know. She'd promised him she'd let him take care of her.

"I'm assuming we're getting rid of most of my furniture."

"I told you you could keep the things that are sentimental," Cin told her sternly. "Even if it's everything in this apartment."

Amara sighed. "There's not much I want to keep," she admitted.

Cin tugged on her hair. "That's okay."

"Cin?" Amara mumbled.

"Hm?"

"You sure you want to be mated to me?"

Cin pulled her hair again. "I'll say it again, as many times as you need me, Mar. Yes. I wouldn't have asked if I hadn't wanted it."

Amara sighed again, louder, refusing to look up. "I want kids."

"I know."

"And you're okay with that?"

Cin was quiet for a long moment. Eventually he said, "Yes."

"You sure there, Cin?"

"Yeah," Cin promised. "I'm old, Amara. And I actually see a therapist. I think I can handle some kids by this point."

It was Amara's turn to be quiet. "I don't know if I can conceive or carry to term," she admitted quietly. "Not that I've tried, but fuck if I ever managed to keep it longer than a few weeks. Never fucked with protection, didn't care."

Cin let her ramble, and eventually pressed a kiss to her hair. "You've never tried to keep one," he pointed out. "And you've never been sober this long." He hesitated, and then added lightly, "And you're friends with a damn good healer."

"Who, Ash?" Amara asked. "He hates me right now."

"He doesn't hate you," Cin promised. "You should ask for his help, or at least his advice."

Amara grimaced. "Fine. I'll ask. But he's gonna say no."

---

Lev's fever broke two days later. He felt bone tired, and he ached, but he could focus for the first time in days. For a little while he reveled in the closeness, running his fingers down Nik's side, but eventually he looked up at Nik. "Hi," he rasped guiltily.

Nik's face was drawn, and Lev could see the exhaustion on his face. "Hi," he replied.

"I think my heat is over," Lev said in a small voice.

"I can see that. Why don't we get you something to eat?"

"Okay," Lev agreed easily. He hesitated, and then, "Are you mad at me?"

"Are you?"

"Mad at me or mad at you?" Lev blinked.

"At me," Nik clarified.

Lev shook his head a bit. "No?" He touched Nik's cheek lightly. "I wasn't and I am not mad at you. I- I don't know what that was. I can't explain it. My omega- my instincts were- strong. But they didn't make any sense. I wanted you. I promise."

The disbelief in Nik's face made Lev defensive, but he bit his tongue. Eventually Nik just said, "Can I put my shirt back on?"

"Oh. We're naked," Lev said, startled. "Right. Uh. Yeah?" He scooted away enough for Nik to be able to get his shirt. It hung loosely off of Nik. Lev watched him for a long moment, and then, "...mates?"

Nik lifted a brow. "So you remember that?"

Lev shook his head. "I remember what I felt. And I remember needing you. It got more fuzzy once Cam made me leave the closet." He tucked his face in the pillow briefly. "After that it's like my heat kicked into gear for real, and all I remember is it being hot."

"Yeah, you looked pretty out of it." He pinned Lev with a look "Please don't do that again. I thought you were out of the closet years ago."

Lev sat up slowly. "I won't," he promised earnestly. As Nik slid off the bed, Lev scooted towards the edge to follow. Nik was in the process of trying to pick Lev up when Ash barged in.

"Put him down," Ash snapped firmly.

Lev, who had barely made it of the bed, found himself plopped right back down. Nik looked guilty, but he glared at the bed rather than turn and face Ash.

"Hi, Ash," Lev said sheepishly, peeking around Nik. "I think my heat's over."

Ash glared at him, eyes glowing green with his magic. "Yeah, I can see that."

"I thought you couldn't see anything," Nik muttered.

Ash ignored Nik. "How are you feeling?"

Lev watched Nik sit down beside him before he said, "Better. Tired. Kind of achey, but- honestly I'm kind of hungry."

"I mean, probably. You haven't eaten anything in two days."

Lev blinked. "Oh." He stared at the IV in his arm for a good long moment, and then said, "I didn't mean to be such a-" He paused, frowning. "I can go eat now, can't I?"

"A little bit, yes," Ash said. "Your stomach is probably sensitive again."

Lev made a face this time. "Back to broth?" he asked sadly. He pushed himself up, holding onto the IV stand.

"If you hadn't ignored your instincts, we wouldn't be back to step one," Ash reminded him.

"I know," Lev replied. "I'd say I should have thought that through, but I wasn't exactly thinking at all." He looked back at Nik apologetically, and then said, "At least I'm better now."

Ash pointed to the bed. "Sit back down. You lost your standing rights. I'm getting you a wheelchair."

Lev blinked at him sadly. He would have argued, but his knees were already weak, and his head had been spinning lightly since he stood. He opened his mouth to agree, but even taking the step back to the bed was apparently a bit much. The ground rushed up to meet him.

Between Nik and Ash, Lev didn't actually hit the floor. Nik leaned over him as soon as they had him in the bed. "Are you okay?"

"Apparently not," Lev muttered, rubbing his forehead. He looked to Ash. "A wheelchair is probably a good idea."

Ash sighed. "Isn't it?"

"Can I do anything?" Nik asked, still sounding a bit panicked.

"I was going to get some pants," Lev said. "If you could get me some...?"

Nik was gone instantly. Lev peered out at Nik, and then at Ash. "I can still go get dinner, right?" Lev asked anxiously. "Just- with a wheelchair?"

Ash nodded. "It would do you good to get you out of this room."

"Can we go eat by the pool?" Nik asked in a small voice, setting Lev's pants down on the bed. Lev blinked, startled. He hadn't even known they had a pool. Of course Cameron had a pool.

"As long as Lev doesn't try to swim or drink the pool water, I guess."

Nik looked pleased, and looked to Lev, almost as if for permission. When Lev nodded, he all but beamed, and leaned over to kiss Lev's cheek. When Nik pulled away, Lev tugged him close again, pressing their foreheads together. He kissed Nik, soft and chaste. To his relief, Nik kissed back, if a little hesitant.

Lev pulled away before Ash could get annoyed, and looked down at the pants Nik had brought. "How am I gonna get dressed if I'm not able to stand up?" He asked pitifully.

"I'll help you," Ash replied.

And, well. That was that, Lev supposed.

[voltronramblings]

um this got like really really long lmao (feel free to just post like a cut off version so it doesn’t clog up ppls dash lol) kind of super embarrassed about how long it is but…. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ i got a lot to say, i hope that’s okay

Haha, you’re completely fine, sweetheart! I am gonna put it under the cut so that it doesn’t end up taking a lot of space on someone’s dash ❤️

Can i pls get a matchup? :3 I’m a bi girl, 5’6 with longish wavy red hair, blue eyes and lots of freckles cuz i always forget to reapply sunscreen lol pretty much always have a sunburn during the summer. I’m a INFP, and a libra. I’ve got a major case of ADHD, lots of energy and horrible at focusing, lots of fidgeting all the time (mostly the leg bounceTM and tapping things) (also got that anxiety/depression thing goin on).

I’m not super social, I hate big parties, I don’t have a Lot of friends, but the friends I do have I’m really close to and would trust with my life (I’m kind of really selective with who i befriend). If i don’t like a person, they will be able to Tell, I don’t go out of my way to be mean to them but,, it’s a bit obvious. I’m the fun friend, always getting people to laugh and smile and be happy, and I’m super loyal to my friends, ride-or-die kind of gal. I also tend to be the one that people lean on, or turn to if the need any advice or comfort. I’m also really close with my family, love them with all my heart and would do anything for them.

I love to play the piano and sing (pretty good at the first one, not so much the second lol) and i tend to do that when I’m feeling stressed out or sad and it helps a lot. I’m currently in college studying geography and cartography and I’m like a super nerd about it lol. I love to go hiking in the mountains where i live and go swimming in the rivers, and when I’m staying at my family home I go to the beach all the time, my fave summer tradition is having bonfire parties on the beach with my friends where we just swim and build sand castles all day and then roast hot dogs and marshmallows (some of my fave memories of high school were on the beach super late at night around the campfire). I am pretty active, i used to be super into sports in high school but now i’m not really, I used to swim competitively for like 8 years, and I also was part of a rowing team for a couple years, and I really loved it, trying to get back into it but i’m way too out of shape rn lmao. I also love baseball, watching it and playing it (but mostly i just watch) (go giants). I love music, fave genres being rock/alt rock/punk/pop, and I loooove going to concerts, i’ve been to at least 30 by now lol I’m pretty much always got music playing, my fave band is fall out boy (i’m basic i know lol).

my grades have always been…. Super average. Not because I don’t understand what I’m being taught but because I never really did my homework, i would always procrastinate and especially with big projects, if it wasn’t absolutely perfect I hated it and would be constantly stressed about it and then just not do it so :/ (this is still true a little in college but i’m getting much better and just getting things done, and i like to have friends with me while i’m working so they can yell at me if i get distracted).

This got really really long so i’m just gonna stop now lmao (i like to talk about myself lol is it obvious??) (ive never done a matchup request before but i like yours because you put so much thought into them i couldnt resist thank you love you)

hi, love! Before I start, the fact that you let me know about that ^^ literally makes me so happy and is one of the only reasons I still accept match-ups. I know what I was like sending my first match-up request in and I was a nervous wreck. Which is why I sincerely mean it when I say that I am deeply sorry for how long this took to get back to you. Thank you for sending this in and I love you too 💕

SO, it may seem kind of weird but I actually ship you with Pidge (adjusted to your age, of course, bc we don’t do support pedophilia in this Christian household, no thank you)! However, if the fact that Pidge is (canonically) still a teen bothers you, I can and will match you with someone else!

Appearance reason: most people do the whole “your freckles make constellations” thing, but Pidge said “nah, they’re compounds and mixtures lol” what a nerd. She’ll look for one that matches the formula for sugar just to say “hey, you’re pretty sweet”. Also, she feels the sunburn comment on a personal level bc she too is pretty much always burnt somewhere, it’s not fair.

Mentality reason: Pidge is no stranger to mental health disorders such as ADHD, anxiety, and depression. Whatever she can do for you, she’ll do, no questions asked. While she is more knowledgeable about the physical sciences, she can quickly pick up the psychological (and biological, but I think that’s a physical science) aspect of mental health disorders, and, if there’s something that she can make to help you, she will. One of those is definitely creating a portable mini-piano so you can tap away at that, using some energy and even creating a little music.

Introvert reason: Pidge is 100% definitely an introvert, and, while with the right company she might enjoy a party, she’ll tend to spend the night in. So, you two are pretty much aligned when it comes to those kinds of nights, you know? You just keep each other company, often in silence, and that’s more than enough.

Personality reason: Pidge is someone who has trouble relying on others. She’s so much of a “I can do this myself so watch me do it better than you” kind of attitude, and, while she’s amazing, even she needs someone whom she can rely on. Your personality tends to naturally bring that out of her. Before anything else, you two are best friends, and you’d do anything for each other. Because of that bond, Pidge feels able to come and talk to you about things that she really can’t with anyone else.

Hobby reason: Pidge is totally just in awe of your musical abilities even if you’re not as confident in them yourself. She loves listening to you playing the piano or even singing along quietly to whatever song is playing. With other people, Pidge prefers to work in the quiet (unless she’s discussing something or explaining something), but she loves to just hear you faintly in the background like a distant record player. ALSO, as the Guardian of Nature, she’s exploring new ways to connect with nature, so she’ll often accompany you whenever you’re going out to the mountains. She will most definitely be complaining for part of it because it’s too hot and there’re so many bugs, but she’ll always go because she loves spending time with you even if she can’t always keep up. Rivers and beaches aren’t necessarily her domain, but she still enjoys being in water (especially if she’s sweaty as frick from all of that walking). While you may be actually swimming, she’ll probably just be in the water, floating along somewhere… she does like the bonfire idea as it’s much less strenuous, and it’s fun to be with everyone whether that’s just you or the whole Voltron crew.

Education reason: lol, I had no idea what to call this so here ya go. Basically, Pidge adores your brilliance when it comes to anything that you’re interested in (in this case, geography and cartography). Especially if you’re drawing maps of the places that y’all visit through space, she’ll be there with papers and pencils and any drawing tools you might need. She just loves seeing how it all turns out in the end, especially since it’s like a mix of science and art and WOW you can do BOTH so well !! And she’s definitely a huge (?) help when it comes to procrastination. A little bit of a hypocrite sometimes because she tends to get distracted herself if it’s not something she’s genuinely interested in. But, she will definitely be there to help keep you on track if you’re losing focus or motivation, and she will also offer to help in any way, shape, or form that she can. She wants you to do your best but also not stress so much about it because, sometimes, imperfections are better than any perfect thing out there. Y’all also have a deal where you can switch off rambling about what you’re passionate about, it’s cute and wholesome 💕 you guys are literal best friends which is so nice to be with your significant other.

[duhragonball]

Dragon Ball Z 245

Last time, Goku teased a new form, one beyond the Super Saiyan 2 form Vegeta and Gohan used against Buu at the start of this arc.   But he’d prefer not to use it if possible.  

The idea here is just to keep Majin Buu busy long enough for Trunks to fly there first and get the Dragon Radar.   After that, it won’t matter (as much) if Buu destroys the place, because the Z-Figthers can use the Dragon Radar to collect the Dragon Balls and wish back all the casualties.   But Trunks is distracted by Goku’s abilties.   He can sense that Goku is about as strong as his father, and he’s apparently unfamiliar with Goku’s teleportation ability.    The reason he’s got his eyes closed here is because Babidi is psychically broadcasting Buu vs. Goku to the world, so Trunks can watch their confrontation simply by closing his eyes.

And Goku uses that trick to speak directly to Trunks, telling him to quit gawking and do his job. 

With that taken care of, Goku decides that he’s got no choice but to demonstrate his new form.   First, he powers down completely, presenting this as a review of the Super Saiyan forms.   Babidi doesn’t see the point, but Buu’s interested, and that’s the one Goku’s worried about.

So this is Goku in his base form.   

And then he turns Super Saiyan.   This is the form he used to beat Frieza.   No worries there.

Then he transforms again, into the form Gohan used to beat Cell, and the one Goku and Vegeta used when they fought each other about fifteen episodes ago.

Crucially, Goku dubs this form “Super Saiyan 2″, about sixty episodes after it was introduced.    So now we can finally stop calling it “beyond Super Saiyan”, “ascended Saiyan”, and whatever else this show has been throwing around.    The funny thing is, everyone kind of stops referring to this form altogether after this.  Goku and Vegeta continue to use it, but you almost never hear anyone spell out “Oh, he’s using Super Saiyan 2″.    I don’t think anyone mentions the form in GT at all, even though a lot of guys use it.   

The story I heard was that when Movie 14 happened, Akira Toriyama was so rusty with DBZ continuity that he forgot Super Saiyan 2 was ever a thing.   That seems kind of odd, considering that he must have remembered the higher levels, but it doesn’t surprise me a whole lot, because it looks so similar to Super Saiyan 1, and for a very long time the form didn’t have a true name.     I know that when I was watching this arc back in 2001-2002, I just considered this “Ascended” nonsense to be irrelevant.    To me, the forms were one and the same, and SSJ2 was merely a Super Saiyan fighting at full power.  But then I got to this episode, where Goku made it clear that Super Saiyan 1 and 2 were different things.   

And this is important, because we need to establish these things so that it means something when Goku decides to go... even... further beyond!    AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Back in Otherworld, King Kai is freaking out, begging Goku not to do this.   It’s too much!  This form he’s going to use is so extreme that it’ll use up the rest of his 24 hours in the living world!

BUT THERE’S NO TURNING BACK NOW!    THE MUSIC IS ALREADY PLAYING, KING KAI!    Oh, shit, I forgot the music.

It’s called “Ssj3 Power Up” on Bruce Faulconer’s DBZ American Soundtrack volume IV.   

The Japanese version, sadly, does not have a theme song this badass for this moment.    I really don’t understand that, because they should have known one was called for here.    Let’s face it, not much happens during this scene, and they seemed to recognize that issue when Gohan turned Super Saiyan 2 for the first time.     Then again, Faulconer kind of whiffed it on Gohan turning Super Saiyan 2, so I can’t critique the Japanese score too harshly.    But if you’re a subs-only fan and you want to give the American dub a chance, this is one of the better episodes to sample.   

Meanwhile NO ONE KNOWS WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON THIS IS INSANE!    GOKU’S ENERGY IS SO HUGE RIGHT NOW U GAIS!

WHAT ARE THESE CLOUDS DOING THIS IS NUTS!

NO SAILING TODAY, THERE’S A SUPER SAIYAN 3 WEATHER ALERT!

I’M GOING TO YELL THE REST OF THIS LIVEBLOG BECAUSE IT’S SO EXTREEEEEEEEME!    GOKU’S GOTTA FIGHT THIS DUDE AND HE PROBABLY WOULD HAVE LIKED TO HAVE SEX WITH HIS WIFE INSTEAD BUT THAT’S OUT OF THE QUESTION NOW!    SHE’S PASSED OUT BECAUSE SHE THINKS THEIR SON IS DEAD, WHICH IS QUITE THE MOOD-KILLER IF YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN!    ALSO IMAGINE YOU’RE TRYING TO FOOL AROUND WITH YOUR WIFE AND SOME TALKING ANCHOVY STARTED TALKING IN YOUR MIND AND YOU CAN’T CLOSE YOUR EYES BECAUSE NOW YOU CAN SEE THE PUBES ON HIS SCALP.    AND HE’S ALL “TEE HEE HEE I’M GOING TO SEND MY BUBBLE GUM MONSTER TO BLOW UP SOME MORE SHIT!”    THAT WOULD ALSO BE QUITE THE MOOD-KILLER IN ADDITION TO THE DEAD SON THING.   

I MEAN MAYBE A COUPLE COULD WORK THROUGH ONE OR THE OTHER BUT NOT BOTH.   IF I WERE MARRIED TO CHI-CHI I’D LIKE TO THINK I COULD FULFILL MY MARITAL DUTIES IN SPITE OF THE TALKING ANCHOVY IN MY HEAD.   I WOULDN’T ENJOY IT AS MUCH, BUT CHI-CHI’S A FINE WOMAN WHO DESERVES THE BEST IN LIFE.   BUT IF OUR SON WAS DEAD THAT WOULD JUST BE TOO MUCH.    ONE HUNDRED PERCENT BONER POISON I’M SORRY CHI-CHI IN THE AU WHERE WE’RE MARRIED AND HAVING SEX.

THERE’S NO STOPPING THIS KING KAI.    E! C! W! E! C! W!  E! C! W! 

O-LAYYYYYYYYY, O-LAY!   OLE, OLE, OLE, O-LAYYYYYYYYYYYY!

CROSSWALK SIGNS EXPLODE FROM THE SHEER INTENSITY OF GOKU’S POWAAA

WINDOWS BREAK AND SPILL GLASS ALL OVER EVERYBODY!

THIS IS MY FAVORITE PART WHERE THIS NEWSCASTER IS COVERING THE HORROR OF THE BUU CRISIS--

WHEN SUDDENLY HE CAN FEEL IT!     THIS JUST IN THERE’S SOMEONE SCARIER THAN MAJIN BUU AND HE’S BROUGHT GOKUTOWN BACK TO EARTH!   ONE NIGHT ONLY!

THEN THE TV BREAKS BECAUSE IT KNOWS BETTER

GOKU’S KI IS SO POWERFUL IT EVEN BREAKS THE NO-TIEN RULE ON THIS WHOLE ARC.    PEOPLE DON’T KNOW THIS BUT CHIAOTZU SLEPT WITH THE PRESIDENT OF TOEI’S WIFE AND HE WAS SO MAD HE TOLD TORIYAMA “YOU KEEP THAT LITTLE HOMEWRECKER OUT OF YOUR STUPID KARATE COMIC, YOU GOT IT?”    AND TORIYAMA DIDN’T HAVE TO DO IT BUT HE RESPECTED WHAT THE GUY WAS GOING THROUGH SO THAT’S WHY THEY DIDN’T SHOW UP IN THE TOURNAMENT BUT GOKU’S SCREAMING HAS SHATTERED THE TIMESPACE CONTINUUM AND NOW TORIYAMA HAD TO DRAW THESE TWO AGAIN BECAUSE REALITY BROKE DOWN THAT BAD. 

EVEN THE MIGHTY MISTER SATAN IS POWERLESS AGAINST THE SHEER METAL THAT IS COURSING THROUGH THIS DOOMED EARTH.  

MULLETS EVERYWHERE VIBRATE IN HARMONY WITH GOKU’S EXPANDING HAIR

THEN HE’S ALL TINY AND THE WHOLE WORLD GOES BLACK IT’S LIKE A METAPHOR OR SOMETHING THIS IS ART YOU PHILLISTINES

I DON’T KNOW WHAT OOZARUS HAVE TO DO WITH ANY OF THIS GOKU LOST HIS TAIL LIKE 20 YEARS AGO AND IT WAS SO UNIMPORTANT THEY DIDN’T EVEN SHOW IT.

IS THAT SUPPOSED TO BE PLANET VEGETA?   IS GOKU JUST THINKING ABOUT PLANETS HE LIKES?

BABIDI DIDN’T GIVE A SHIT ABOUT THIS A MINUTE AGO, BUT GOKU’S GOT HIS ATTENTION NOW DOESN’T HE?

AND THEN HE’S ALL DONE!     WHAT THE HELL HAVE YOU DONE, GOKU, YOU MAGNIFICENT BASTARD?

JUST IN CASE ANYONE’S NOT CLEAR ON THIS, HE EXPLAINS THAT THIS IS SUPER SAIYAN 3.     WHAT HAPPENED TO HIS EYEBROWS?   THEY GOT SUCKED INTO HIS HEAD, THAT’S WHAT HAPPENED.

SO NOW HE JUST LOOKS AT BUU AND HE’S LIKE YOU COME GET THIS WORK.   

MEANWHILE ON THE SUPREME KAI PLANET THEY CAN FEEL GOKU’S POWER ALL THE WAY FROM THERE AND THEY’RE LIKE WHAA?

SO BUU SAW ALL OF THAT BUT HE’S NOT IMPRESSED.    GOKU’S LIKE FINE LET’S DO THIS ALREADY.

MEANWHILE TRUNKS MADE IT HOME BUT NO ONE KNOW WHERE DRAGON RADAR NO

BUU TRIES TO ATTACK BUT ALL HE DOES IS CATCH THESE HANDS.   GOKU BEATS THE CRAP OUT OF HIM....

... OR THAT’S WHAT WOULD HAPPEN, EXCEPT BUU HARDLY TAKES ANY DAMAGE, AND HE RESPONDS WITH A RAPID FIRE ATTACK.    GOKU’S ALL “THAT’S VEGETA’S MOVE WTF” AND I’M LIKE “HOW IS THAT VEGETA’S TRADEMARK THING  IT’S JUST SHOOTING HAND ENERGY VERY FAST.   DON’T ACT LIKE BUU IS SOME SORT OF GENIUS FOR FIGURING THAT OUT.     I DON’T THING VEGETA EVEN USED THAT ON HIM, SO HOW DID HE LEARN IT?”

KING KAI’S STILL PLEADING WITH GOKU TO CALL IT A DAY.    IF HE RUNS OUT OF TIME, HE WON’T BE ABLE TO TEACH GOTEN AND TRUNKS HOW TO FUSE!   

BUT NO THESE TWO BIG OL’ BOYS ARE HAVING A WRESTLE.

BUU’S REALLY INTO THIS BUT BABIDI KEEPS YELLING AT HIM TO FINISH GOKU OFF.   HE’S LIKE SOME SHITTY ALIEN JIM CORNETTE WHINING ABOUT HOW BUU DOESN’T KNOW HOW TO WORK.   SO BUU TELLS HIM TO STFU.

BABIDI’S LIKE HOW DARE YOU TALK TO ME THAT WAY I’LL HAVE YOU KNOW I’M A LEVEL 20 WARLOCK WITH ANCHOVY-BOOGER POWER SIR.

GOKU’S JUST FRUSTRATED THAT TRUNKS STILL HASN’T LEFT WEST CITY YET, SO HE JUST HAS TO KEEP DROPPING HURTIN’ BOMBS ON THIS PINK FOOL.  

MEANWHILE TRUNKS CAN’T FIND THE RADAR BECAUSE IT’S NOT ANYWHERE ASSSDFGHJKL;;